I was in my abusive marriage for 5 years. That was 7 years ago. I tried so hard to bury it for so long i am now suffering from PTSD. That was a shocker. I've always thought of that in terms of returning veterans. My first step in my healing was joining DS 3 months ago. I had started having anxiety attacks and flashbacks and nightmares. I was paralyzed whenever a man would raise his voice. Didn't have to be directed at me, just some guy in Wal-Mart looking for his kid. But a mans voice raised in anger would send me into a fear spiral it took hours to get out of. I finally found DS and just recently joined a local support group for abused women. Both of those things have been the miracle i've been looking for these last 7 years.

I was in an abusive relationship for 14 years, married to him for 10 of them. It started off so nice and ended up with, verbal, mental and physical abuse. The physical abuse came at the end. I wanted out for many years but was afraid to leave him. I left because I saw a way out and took it. I gave up on men and that is when I realized that my friend is a wonderful person. I ended up marrying him and we have been together for 4 1/2 wonderful years. There are good men out there, and I now know, he is so wonderful. He has his own baggage and was also abused when he was yonger, that is probably why we get along so well. He never raises his voice which is nice. I agree ith Queen when it comes to hearing people raise their voices. I realized my mom always raises his voice to get her way, which makes me find more comfort in my husband. Although not perfect, he isn't abusive either.

I was in a verbally abusive relationship for 3 years. My nervous system is what saved me that and his anger and rages began to escallate so I kicked him out. There is no looking back for me and a relationship with this person but he called me and left a message saying that he is glad that we are beginning to talk again...I am not sure what that means because I have not talked to him aside from letting him have our daughter for an afternoon "supervised" by his family. I have decided that he just wants another chance to manipulate his way back into my life and I am responding to this with silence. No e-mails, calls etc.

I am taking resposibility for being a victim of abuse for many years with him. I allowed it to bring me down to nothing, I ended up having an affair with my best friend,who in turn was sleeping with stbx. The way I am taking responsibility is learning that I do deserve better than him, I am going back to school, I am working, and I have said no to him returning. I go to counseling every other week at a DV shelter to learn about abuse, and how to respond to it. I feel it is much, much better for my son and I the way things are now, with stbx out of here.

The spirit is a hard thing to break! You all are amazing women to me!

i dunno why it is so hard

i have seen my mother be stuck in an abusive relatioship her whole life.

and we finally, after needing to get a restraining order, got her to file for divorce...but a week later she changed her mind and moved back in.

i have encountered two abusive relationships, and im only 19. seeing my mother go through it though helped me to see the warning signs...not enough to not get stuck in the same kind of relationship but im trying very hard to tell the difference.

It's is difficult to assess one's path because every life situation is unique and individuals are either experiencing emotional growth, or stuck. For those who experience emotional growth, they will not allow themselves to be victimized. For the latter victimization is a way of life. Internal peace and love.

I spent most of my life so far being a victim. I am ready to be a catalyst for change now. The first step to my life beyond just a victim was to break off contact with my abuser/father. I will need to depend on my therapist and my meds for a while, but maybe one day I will be ready to face my new life on my own.