He doesn't and has never physically hurt me...but when he drinks...and he drinks daily...a lot... he gets mean/sarcastic (verbally) and tries to make me think I am crazy (always everything is my fault and I am the nutcase psycho bitch from hell) and that I am paranoid and I "imagine" things. He tries to tell me that he is not yelling at me, that he just has a loud voice when he gets a buzz. I try to placate him, I try to be passive and 'let things go', I try ignoring him but I get bitched out about that being told again that I have an attitude problem, when I try acting happy he finds another reason to get pissed, he imagines that I am fantasizing about some guy on television or someone that I dated 10 years before I even met him......but after hours and even days I just can't take it anymore and have to stand up for myself. Then he says I'm crazy and a stupid f***g bitch. I literally cannot hold down a job because of his drinking, he keeps me up all night sometimes raising hell, then to top it all off he wants to have sex, he is always grabbing at me and then gets mad at me because he cannot get it up (because he is so drunk) or he gets mad at me because I am not interested....wonder why? How attractive is a verbally abusive, sloppy limp man? I have NO money, NO job and NO where to go, NO Where. No friends, No family, nothing. I was always a cute spunky talented girl and woman, I don't see her anymore in the mirror. I see a trapped animal.
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