I am still living in an abusinve enviornment. My father has sever emotional issues, and has aspergers, but is in denial about it. He is in no way, shape or form a 'man'. My mother was addicted to perscription benzos, and she detoxed two years ago. While she was on benzos, she was emotionally unavailable. I have always been the family scapegoat, and I am just realizing that this is wrong and in no way do I deserve this. My whole family blames me for everything that goes wrong, and lets out theri anger/stress/frustration on me. My mother never taught my sister and I how to do chores and other household things. Our house is messy and dirty, which is really bad for me because I have SEVERE vernal conjunctivitis (eye allergies). My father's autism has efected me the most. He is really deep down in denial, and is putting all of his emotions associated with deep denial on me, such as screaming, name calling... He has been emotionally manipulative, unintentionaly harrasses me constantly, and blames everything on me. My mother (for most of my life) was never fully 'there'. I know I was a difficult child to raise (too intelligent for my own good) but no one, not even me deserves this. My dad does not mean to emotionally abusive, but he still is. I really cannot live like this for much longer. Everyday I am incredibly stressed, to the point where my brain has shut down all emotions. I don't feel anything anymore, and nothing matters to me, but when I dig realllyy deep down inside it hurts sooo much. If anyone has any ideas, similar experiences, or just feels like talking.. well yeah haha
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??