Hi - I'm 28 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He moved into my house at the beginning of 2007 after we dated long distance for almost a year (talked daily on the phone and saw each other on weekends) He is a divorced fulltime father of 2 children (4 and 8). I have a 2 1/2 year old son from my ex husband, who walked out on me when I was 4 months pregnant. Living together was good at first, but got very hard by summer. He drank too much for my comfort, we argued a lot, he didn't hold a job well and didn't contribute enough $$ to cover his half of the expenses. He hates my ex husband and also decided that he doesn't like my family. By the end of the summer he decided my family wasn't welcome in my house (even though I own the house) and was upset whenever I went to see them. He also started deleting phone numbers out of my cell (especially my male friends) and when he was drunk would call them and tell them to stay away from me. I asked him to get help to not drink so much, but he refused and said I was overreacting because it was only a few times a week and he would do it at home and he didn't want to stop anyway and it is my fault when he drinks. He has no friends and does not like to go out to bars. He wanted to watch TV all day and we fought a lot about the kids and money and everything. He told me he was glad when I was too sick to join the softball league because I wasn't putting him first when I played softball. Don't get me wrong, when things are good, they are great. He's a wonderful lover and can be very sweet. He has been faithful and has never hit me, though he shoved me once when he was trying to take my phone away from me. However, I was crying almost daily and started feeling the need to leave the house with my son when he was drinking or we were fighting because I don't want my son exposed to it. Several times he took my phone and wouldn't give it back, but if I did leave with it, he would call excessively and leave drunk messages telling me to come home. In December, I asked him to move out but he refused. We didn't spend a single holiday together because he refused to see my family, so when we were seperated at Christmas, I convinced him it would be healthier for us to live apart and he finally moved back to his family, so we are long distance again. It broke my heart to do it, but I was thinking that maybe if we took the stress of living together away that maybe we could slow down and just enjoy dating again. It was going okay for the past couple of weekends, until this Friday. I was going to go to his house to play poker with his family and spend the night because my son was on overnight with his father (which only happens twice a month). I had to work until 6 and it is an hour and a half drive so I was going to arrive late. His father needed me to pick up my son by 8:30am because he had to work, so I called my boyfriend to let him know I would have to leave by 7am instead of 10am as planned. He was furious!! He demanded that I stay even though my ex husband couldn't keep my son and then told me not to bother coming at all (I was already on my way). He hung up angry at me and I haven't heard from him since. He usually calls every day, but didn't call at all yesterday or today. I'm so hurt because I wanted to see him and I thought he should appreciate that I was going to drive all that way for such a short visit just because I love him, but he was mad instead! A lot of other things happened in this past year, and I am starting to wonder if this isn't an abusive relationship. I love him and don't want to stop seeing him, but maybe he is breaking up with me anyway? He never goes this long without calling. What do you think? Is he breaking up with me and was this abusive anyway? I have been thinking of moving over his way in favor of better employment opportunities, but I was taking comfort in knowing that he was there for me. Should I call him or give him space?
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