Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm off on holidays tomorrow night,
but I have to tell you this!
My daughters told me today that they've been on holidays a few days with my ex and....
his new girlfriend plus her kids.
The funny thing is I always assumed it would hurt me to hear him with another woman, especially as it's only been 4 months.
However all I feel is relief!
Relief that it's finally over, he's not going to talk me back into that life again.
For him to get with someone so soon and tell the girls she's their new step mum does make me laugh!
Typical pattern of an abuser.
It won't take long before he proposes to her.
Not because he loves her, he needs to own her.
Same as with me.
Actually I feel kinda sorry for her, the girls told me she's really nice.
I know he'll hurt her as well.
In the mean time he now owes his friends whom have been working for him $10000 and I'm getting phone calls of other people he owes.
They really don't change, do they?
By the way, I went on a date yesterday evening with a real gentleman! Nothing like I used to date!
Do you think it's too soon?
I am very careful and selective now, but he's so different!
What do you think?
Julia XXX
but I have to tell you this!
My daughters told me today that they've been on holidays a few days with my ex and....
his new girlfriend plus her kids.
The funny thing is I always assumed it would hurt me to hear him with another woman, especially as it's only been 4 months.
However all I feel is relief!
Relief that it's finally over, he's not going to talk me back into that life again.
For him to get with someone so soon and tell the girls she's their new step mum does make me laugh!
Typical pattern of an abuser.
It won't take long before he proposes to her.
Not because he loves her, he needs to own her.
Same as with me.
Actually I feel kinda sorry for her, the girls told me she's really nice.
I know he'll hurt her as well.
In the mean time he now owes his friends whom have been working for him $10000 and I'm getting phone calls of other people he owes.
They really don't change, do they?
By the way, I went on a date yesterday evening with a real gentleman! Nothing like I used to date!
Do you think it's too soon?
I am very careful and selective now, but he's so different!
What do you think?
Julia XXX
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Regarding dating so soon... You are the only one that can decide when you're ready... and how will you know until you try? I believe opportunities should be taken and explored. Being careful as you say is integral and sharing the info here allows you the continued support you may need. For me I would question my ability to judge just what a "gentleman" is since I thought that of my abuser in the beginning... he had such wonderful manners... and so on... still... that shouldn't stop you from moving on, living your life and finally enjoying a good relationship like you deserve. Keep us up-to-date! You go girl!!!!
Here4YOU!!! Angel
If you're ready, then go for it.
Here are one or two thoughts:
As you spend time with someone, be yourself.
Express your wants and needs.
At least half the time, do things that satisfy YOU.
If you begin seeing and feeling things that cause you discomfort, don't ignore them. Take note of them. Watch for patterns.
The typical response to things that bother us in relationship is: Nobody's perfect!
This is true, of course.
Also typically, when we look back at a relationship that failed, afterward, we see clearly that the things that bothered us early on but that we chose to ignore because of that first flush of bliss, are the things that ended up sinking the relationship.
So ----- have fun. Enjoy yourself. And take care of yourself! Just please, don't turn a blind eye to things that bother you. If something doesn't feel right, keep an eye on it; see if you can get it to be better early on. If you can't, ask yourself if you want to live with it, indefinitely.
That's my perspective. Find JOY!
IW
I know excactlty what you mean Angel!
My ex did have the manners too.
This time it's different though.
I'm in a much better place.
I was so desperate to get married and start a family when I met him.He did give me some very strong warning signs, but the wedding was booked etc, so I still went ahead.
This time I'm more mature and I have loads of things going on in my life ( hobbies, studying etc.). Should this not suit suit my next partner, I have no problems dumping them.
Well, it's off to Thailand now, I'll keep you all posted later!
Hugs, Julia xxxx