I feel sick again. I tried to open a discussion with my eldest sister about how she bullied and tortured me as a child, turned everyone against me as a teenager, latched onto any guy I had already been out with and repeated it as an adult. Yes I got a patronising, arrogant response and I feel sick that I even tried it. What did I expect? Well after all the therapy she had when she was younger and us both being over 50 now I stuck my neck out hoping for something better. She is the only person I still really have bad feelings for, because she is arrogant, patronising and a bit delusional. She has accused me in the last 12 months of trying to get all the stuff back that I gave her when I left town (not true) ripping her off when I bailed her out taking over the lease on her flat so she wouldn't have a black mark against her name. She tried to turn my ex against me when I was still with him and he had just inherited some money thinking she could then reap the benefit. I think I would be able to put the past behind me if she wouldn't keep doing this. I am the one delegated in the family to be the outsider and the unreasonable, delusional one. I was the youngest and smallest and this is an awful burden for any child to grow up with but despite the fact that I was able to get more education, go to uni, hold down a few good jobs and buy my own property a few times while they have achieved nothing in life this 'role' still persists. Why do I even care? Can anyone say anything to make me feel better? Sorry its such a long rant, hope it makes sense.
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