I am 27 and been with my husband for 2 1/2 years. I love my husband very much but sometimes I wonder why I stay with him because he doesn't treat me right. When we first got together it was love at first sight. But after a few months had past we started having arguements because he would be out all night and wouldn't come home til the next morning. Well people started telling me that my boyfriend has a drug habit and when I would confront him he would say that their lying to try and break us up. Well he still continued to be out all night and sometimes when he would come home I could tell that he was high because of the look in his eyes and eventually he came and told me that truth. I started feeling sorry for him because he said that he wanted to stop but couldn't and when we would try to get him help no one would do anything because we didn't have insurance. And the more he was getting high the more crazier he was acting, then he started getting abusive and always accuse me of cheating on him. It got so bad that I got to the point that I told him it was over and he kicked in my door and busted out my car windows. Then after he had realized what he had done he started crying and begging me to take him back saying that he will get help and change. Well he would do good for a couple of weeks then of course he would go right back to the same thing. Well even though I knew my husband had a problem I still married him because I loved him. He is a good person with a good heart and I guess that was our way of proving our love for each other. We were broke and did it spontanously so we just went to the court house and the judge married us (we didn't even have rings). Well that didn't stop anything because he went and got high the same night we got married and it just kept getting worse. Well eventually he had got himself in some trouble and ended up going to prison for a year. I stuck by him the whole time and he kept making promises like as soon as i come home I'm going to get you a ring, and he won't get high or hit me anymore, and that we are going to move, and do all sorts of things together. Well he's been home 3 months and he has gotten a little better because he did get a job (which he's never really had before in his 35 years of living) and he works his butt off, but he is still getting high on his days off and he's put his hands on me already and he's only taken me out once and I still don't have a ring on my finger. Which makes me feel like he doesn't love me or doesn't care. It's like he's always making promises that he doesn't keep and doesn't try hard enough to make everything right. I could go on and on (this isn't even half of the story) but I'm at the point where I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think my life would be so much easier if I just left him but then when I look at it in a spirital manner I think that I would be wrong to leave him for marriage is for better or worse. At times I just don't feel loved by him and I wonder if he'll ever change?
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