Hey everyone. Okay, I DO know the answer, but need some reinforcement. I just wanted to sort through some thoughts. My ex is currently leading a Bible study at a mutual friend's home each Saturday afternoon. I go over and play ping pong often on Sat. night, but have really been making an effort to stay away when I know he'll be there. I'm doing well, no contact for 3 weeks. It is very difficult the way things ended (again), me texting and looking like an idiot, and him saying that if he was with a healthy woman, he wouldn't act the way he did with me. I really think he sees himself as too good for me at this point. I do wish he would come back one more time, but I know that's silly. And now he is telling mutual friends that his life is so much better now that he's walking with God on a daily basis, so I guess he thinks he's doing great. Well, I have been doing some reading on my issues, and wish very much that I could share with him what I am learning. He has wanted me to "see the light" for so long. I saw it before, but felt like he never gave me a chance to admit my faults, just left or ordered me out when we started arguing, and broke up. Then got back together a few weeks later. I guess now, I want him to know I'm trying to get healthier, but somehow I don't think he would ever let me just be myself without trying to control all my feelings and insecurities that come up from time to time. I don't know...I am rambling, but I just need some support here. I am trying so hard to stay strong. Calling him to talk would not be a good thing, right? Wouldn't I just be trying to control the situation again? I don't think he would ever be good for me, although I wish he really did see me for who I am inside.
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