Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Anyone have any advice on how to tame the resentment toward your abuser? How do I get past all the pain that he has inflicted on me in the past few years? How do I get past him locking me out of the house in bare feet and no coat in November when it was 40 degrees outside while he was inside, drunk, holding my one year old son? Or get past being called a loser over and over, or various other choice names? How do I get past him bringing up my depression like there was or is anything I can do to change it, like I have the plague or something? How do I get past him telling me to "just go lay down" like I am a dog, or telling me that because before I met I was nothing just because I lived in an "apartment" (a really nice one too), and it doesn't phase his thoughts of me that way to remember that I was in a professional career, made great money, and paid my own way before I married him? How to I get past the fact that he took my credit card from me, threatens to open a checking acount in his name only, tells me I am a bad wife (even though he does NOTHING around here, including yard work), claims that everything is HIS because I stay at home with our son and don't earn a paycheck, and I have to justify every thing I buy at Target like I am spending too much money on cleaning supplies or household items? I could go on forever, someone please tell me I am not alone in hearing or experiencing this stuff.
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This has never not worked here...And, this will be my last attempt at contact here . I have NO other contact info. I love you Always will.So.. here goes..Please, I need you guys.Luvnhugsjc
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
Talk to your local woman's shelter, they can advise you on how to put together an escape plan.
I believe that you will not even begin to get over this abuse til you have left him.
No one shouldhave to live like this. NO ONE.
You've had a good career and have been able to take very good care of yourself before. You can do it again! You can do this!
Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself and come here for support to get through it all. It's not easy work, but saving your very soul is worth the effort.
Good luck. We are here for you.
Simgrah had good advice about calling your local women's shelter, they will probably have several options for you. There is no shame in staying there to get away from the torture you're living with.
I believe in you. Be strong and love yourself and your child first and foremost.
This is a great website with some wonderful people to give you all the advice/help/support you could ever want. The hugs are great too:)
I'm here if you need to talk.
Peace.
First identify the offense, and picture the offender and telling them what you wanted you didn't get.
Tell them you now release any expectation that they be any certain way now, then or ever.
Feel the love of your higher power flow into you.
Feel the love of that higher power flow from you to that person. Really feel it.
Set them free to their own highest good.
Nothing is changed overnight, but nothing is going to change unless you make it happen. Peace be with you and stay strong my sister!
Alcoholism is one of the symptoms in what you are dealing with and it destroys more than his brain cells. You are not alone and I believe will learn from many here. But, you must make decisions for YOU and your child. We teach people how to treat us, by accepting what we will put up with. It's not easy, but you do have choices, don't let his illness destroy you and possible your child's future.
When I got out - it was no picnic and I had to fight my way through a lot of obstacles. However, had I stayed I would have totally lost myself. Get yourself in a better place by accepting the caring and love you are entitled to and this is a good place to start. Try to visualize yourself as you were when you were working - if you can feel that strength now - it will help you make a good decision for yourself. I don't know where you live - but if he thinks everything is his because you stay home taking care of your child - if you live in a community state - he has another think coming. You might want to consult a lawyer through lawyers aid and see what your rights are - you do have them. Good luck to you and take good care of yourself and your little one.
Getting past resentment is NOT EASY. It takes a lot of work. In my case, prayer too. And acceptance that this was NOT how I envisioned my life at almost 40. I try to consciously focus on the positives. Are you going to get out? Please try to. You will be so much happier and at peace when you can. I think you have even more resentment because you're "trapped". I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. A great resource is www.youarenotcrazy.com GET HELP AND GET OUT!