my ptsd from my abusive ex is haunting me again. it had stopped for a while but now has come back full force. when im with and without the company of alex i am getting this feeling that my abusive ex is sitting behind alex ready to jump out of him. im terrified that alex is going to become him! alex is the sweetest guy on earth and realistically he would take a bullet for me any day of the week and actually has given me the shirt of his back. hes the most gentle person i know and has even come to therapy appointments with me during times that i was affraid to go alone. but i feel like my abusive ex is so close and i can feel him almost all the time. i cant think rationally and i dont know if i want to spend more time with alex or less! i really really want to just have a good relationship with him but that asshole a year ago has doomed all relationships to come.
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