
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

deleted_user
Hello,
Some of you know me, and have read some of what i go through. i may have found a way out, or perhaps i should say someone may have found a way out for me. i am supposed to meet these people today. i have to figure out a way to get away today and then meet these people. i was up all night could not sleep. First i am worried this kind of thing is a trick and i am walking into a web. Second i am worried sick i shall fail if this is true.
i have been living like this so long, i do not know anything else. Perhaps i am silly, but i am worried if i EVER do get out i am followed. Then if i am not and fail. What if i am everything i have been told? iactually believe everything he tells me. What if he is right and i can never do something like this, make it on my own? With out him?
i even hear him when he is not here, example i can not even sit back in a chair. i sit ready to move quickyly. i find i do this everywhere or i do not sit at all. This is just an example, what if he is right? Can i do this? i am so frightened, all this seems not real, why would someone help me? i do not know another way to live? i am frightened of so many things?
i will post in my journal, regarding the "help" i speak of. i needed to post now, here, because i am so frightened and needed to someone to help me? i am so frightened.
Chynanoone
Some of you know me, and have read some of what i go through. i may have found a way out, or perhaps i should say someone may have found a way out for me. i am supposed to meet these people today. i have to figure out a way to get away today and then meet these people. i was up all night could not sleep. First i am worried this kind of thing is a trick and i am walking into a web. Second i am worried sick i shall fail if this is true.
i have been living like this so long, i do not know anything else. Perhaps i am silly, but i am worried if i EVER do get out i am followed. Then if i am not and fail. What if i am everything i have been told? iactually believe everything he tells me. What if he is right and i can never do something like this, make it on my own? With out him?
i even hear him when he is not here, example i can not even sit back in a chair. i sit ready to move quickyly. i find i do this everywhere or i do not sit at all. This is just an example, what if he is right? Can i do this? i am so frightened, all this seems not real, why would someone help me? i do not know another way to live? i am frightened of so many things?
i will post in my journal, regarding the "help" i speak of. i needed to post now, here, because i am so frightened and needed to someone to help me? i am so frightened.
Chynanoone
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
i know no one is replying to this post, but i just cut really bad. i only did
not twice so far on my wrist. i feel so alone in this and am frightened to hope. So i cut myself, and want to cut more. i only slept two hours last night, really cat nap like. i drove myself to work, i do not work on Sat, but i needed and thought it was a good idea. But i can not think, other than to worry. i feel as if i spoke my voice shall cause an echo i am so alone. i don't know what to do to stop punishing for hoping.... Thank i will ever be free from this life, this hell house.
Chynanoone
It's so hard not to want to further implement punishment at from my own hand or that by my kin's hands. Sorry, it is better this way. To teach myself a lesson i shall not forget. Its the only way i know. i hurt so badly all the time inside. It's so hard to be in the trap of mine. Though i try very hard to cope with my reality, no matter where i may go in my head while things are happening, i still remain in this trap.
Sorry i burdened anyone.
Chyna I'm begging you, start helping yourself. It's the only way you are going to develop any self-esteem.
I'm here if you need to talk.
Val
i did not have a nice day today. My kin was holding a surprise Birthday party for my brother. i was chosen to act as the decoy. i had to have him take me to Outdoor world. Because of my injury my kin felt i should be the one that does this, it mattered not to them that i am on crutches and hurt, nor do they care how frightened i am with outsiders. i looked on line before hand and saw how big it was, this mattered not to them either. My brother was his old self and a clone of my daddy today, and particularly nasty with me. After the party was over about 7:30pm he called to apologize, that lasted a minute or so, then took it back because i said the only one thing he did bothered me (He was yelling at me on the return drive to his house, and called me names and belittled me). That made him get nastier on the phone and he threatened and warned that he was getting angrier with me.
i should not have said anything at all as i am hard headed and never learn. i am very grateful it is over. i do not cry for me it is a sign of weakness; it would follow more pain, he brought me close to tears several times today. Then i thought i was ok, and tried to do the work i brought to the hell house, and then he called. i was again close to tears. i shant give him the satisfaction of tears. If i have held them for so long, he certainly does not deserve them. i will be up late trying to finish my work. i am very tired mentally and physically, though i NEED to get this work done before tomorrow. i am very sorry that i had this sugery and complication for my work has suffered without me being there. This is why i have never had a vacation in 16 years that and it is some what a safer place to be. My brother hurt me physically, hurt me pretty bad today, i know my mental skin should be tougher for i am use to it, but he hurt me mentally as well.
i am pretty low due to um another (the meeting) subject and now also because of today. i still am hurtingwell no reason to speak about it now, for it is over and i shall heal.
Queen i know i need out, i really do. i need help in doing this. i used to before my injury go run/walking, just to try to stay focused. My brother would be sent to find me. He also makes comments of where i was or what i was wearing. You can drawl your own conclusion of what i am getting at.
Anyway, thank you for reading and replying, you bring hope to me in which i do not have. Thank you also for listening. i sometimes ask myself as to why i post at all. i am still in hell and in my trap, does it really matter if i write? Well i do not know, for it is a bit dangerous for me, for i see way too much in my own writing, one is my own weakness, and other things i really should not see. Thanks
noone
Can you not ring a crisis line, a shelter, a social worker, counsellor or someone to remove you immediately. Yeah, sometimes saving and planning is the way to go, but not for every situation.
You need to get help now, not wait for anyone or get used anymore.
Please get help today.
Worried about you, i really am.
That is nice of you to say. No, who am i to take the space of someone that really needs it. i told someone about some of my hell, i withhold most things. Its better that way. Anyway it took alot for me to even say what i have. They reacted like i would suspect an outsider to behave.
Thank you Nadine, i really thank you and Techrdr, Netti and Queen for even answering. i was seeking something here, i don't know what it is, but i think i am gonna get off. i needed to be safe here, to speak with someone here, to maybe plan and become strong enough to get out. i needed to talk with outsiders to see how they got out. i think i am done now. But i really wanted to let you know i really really thank you so much for replying. You shall never understand what that meant to me.
Bye
noone
Reach out chyna. Find a shelter or hotline in your area. There are people there that care more than you know, let them help you.
Queen, this is my attempt of testing the waters so to speak. To see how outsiders are. Y'all do not hide because of your anonymity. If Darryl's daddy Queen comes through, i will be removed in secret. Until then i have to behave as usual for my safety. i post because i hurt. i post because my eyes are opened and i do not like what i see. Too hard to explain but i have to remain safe at the moment. i post also so that i can build that strength i lack. i post because i am dying inside. Screaming...
Thank you for your replies.
To Queen,
My Queen thank you very much.
noone