I just walked in the door from a 5 day vacation with my best friend and went through the mail and the final divorce papers were there. I was not expecting it to be final. I was expecting to have to sign something in an office. I was expecting to be prepared. My friend and I both broke down crying. It is just so sad. She said that I'm the most patient person she knows and that I really tried and that if I can't live with him no one can. I know thave a very very good reasons for leaving him and ending my marriage but this is sad. I have to pull myself together because I ahve to pick my son up in a couple of hours. I haven't seen him for a week. And I need to get myself together as I haven't seen my boyfriend in days either. I wish this would have happened before I left so I could have moped freely and non-stop the past 5 days. I also keep wondering what my now ex feels as I'm sure he received the same piece of mail. To divorce someone you care about but can't live with is so so hard. To care about someone who could be so mean to you is so confusing. I need another 5 days off - more like 5 months. Lately I have been wanting to just run away and be alone for a year to figure things the hell out.
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