Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
If someone your with,only hits you when they are drunk because you may (in their eyes)have said or did something to make them mad,is it abuse?I have been hit and called names a few times by the person I'm with.However they never remember it the next day,yet will refuse to appologize by saying "If you say I did it,then I I guess I did.You must have said or did something".Fact is,the few times it's happened I know I didn't.How do you argue with someone who can't remember anyway.I always end up letting it go.I love this person and they are only abusive with an occasional one two many.Otherwise,things are the way they should be.I guess my question is ,if their under the influence,should that behavior be held against them regaurdless?Also am I to blame for not walking away from the situation that could possibly arise when I know they are and will possibly drink to much?
deleted_user
Yes it's abuse. The alcohol lowers their inhibitions and they release pent-up hostility. My ex bf is like that. Drinking to the point of blackouts. That is really bad. It does NOT excuse that behavior. You might also check out codependency. I was abused by my ex, after 4 bottles of wine and some tequila he almost murdered me, I now suffer ptsd. I suggest getting some help. He did not abuse me when he was sober. There are conflicting opinions on this, that alcohol has nothing to do with abuse. But it takes all kinds, and it is like arguing about paint color when the house is burning down
deleted_user
I am never violent never have been maybe punched the odd wall. But can be verbally nasty when I am in BP black mood. Its no excuse saying I am only nasty verbally when I am going through psychotic episode ie MAD. So drink is even less an excuse I have little contol over brain chems though meds help. But drinking usually is a choice thing.
deleted_user
how many times can someone make the excuse i was drunk i didn't know what i've done? been on the recieving end of this forgave every time.that is until he punched me in the chest threw me in front of a car, oh and i was 6 months pegnant! NO excuse is good enough YOU are worth more
deleted_user
I go through the same thing. I have had a burning cigarette held just above my sking that it burned the hair,and he laughed as I cried, but he denies it. I have been locked out of the house with my baby son being held by him, but it was "my fault", I hear "that never happened" everytime I confront him. I am sorry its happening to you too.
deleted_user
I've learned through counseling that alcohol is not the "reason" behind abuse. The abusive tendancies are already there but being suppressed. Alcohol simply lowers inhibitions so the abuser lets their true personality out. This is a classic pattern of abuse. Please get help before what happened to me, happens to you. He is dangerous and it's only a matter of time. Stay safe!
deleted_user
That's so weird. Why do I get really kind and loving when I'm drunk then? Even my wife has said that to me. I've often wondered about the lowered inhibitions thing, and thought, well then who am I really? I'm a jerk sober, but gentle drunk? Doesn't make sense to me.
deleted_user
Thank you all for the support.The interesting thing is that you all agree the alcohol is freeing the inhibition to their real feelings/tendencies.Is it their own personal discontent with the world,or am I the reason for their unhappiness?I'd like to think I am.It would make it so easy for me to say good-bye!Problem is-I need that to be said to my face,otherwise I feel as if I was giving up on them and I seem to be the only one I know who sais I'm sorry.
Join the Conversation
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
