Maybe I am not crazy or alone in this. I was in an abusive relationship for a year. He lied, cheated in front of my face and screamed at me to go away when I caught him (more than once), but then the next day was so sorry and loved me so much. I have gone through so much hurt and anger, but still had a hard time saying goodbye...not sure why. I did stop seeing him a few weeks ago, but he still kept trying to call. I think I finally sabotaged the relationship. I went out drinking, kissed someone in front of his brother...etc...This is so not my nature. I didn't even date after my marriage ended in 2001 until I met him a year ago. I am hating myself now and feeling like a big sleeze. It is like I stepped out of character. Now he stopped calling. It is a good thing, but it is hurtful now because I am blaming myself instead of him. I was not consciously retaliating against him...almost like I was hurting myself. Has anyone else ever been through this, and how do I go on now. I feel disempowered.
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