
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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My boyfriend just left me 2 weeks ago. We have lived together 5 years. He has major mood swings, I don't understand. He is financially generous to me, never controls who I see or what i do. When we have disussions he has this way of making me feel stupid. He talks very short and abrupt to me. He lies to me and says he is one place when he is another. He travels for his job 95% of the time. He doesn't cheat, you would have to know him to know this. I battle depression, and he used to tell me he couldn't stand to be around me because of my depression. I went into intensive therapy and am much, much better now, and now he says he can't stand to be around me because I am happy. He used to leave me here alone on holidays and go to his family's for celebration. He would never take me. I am friends with his family and they thought I was in another state with my children, they did not know I was here alone. He tells me I don't have to work. I found a very good job 2 months ago and he changed immediately. He always made me question my career choice to the point I felt stupid about what I was trained for. He told me one week after I got the job that he deliberately verbally abused me to keep me down, and he feels that since I found a job he has lost control. He does things to try and make me think he is cheating, and then I investigate it, and it isn't true. He keeps me off balance, I walk on egg shells, not knowing what his mood is going to be. What he does to me emotionally is hard to describe, that is why I question if he is abusing me or just wants out of the relationship. He moved out but told me he is going to pay my rent and all of my bills for 1 year so I can save all of my money and get on my feet, even though I now make well enough to take care of myself. After his moods he will dump money in my account. I am just so confused by all of this.
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I know this will be hard, but you are better off without him in the long term. Glad he is taking some responsibilty for your flat for a while - (he won't want to be found deliberately in the wrong).
One day you will find a stable bloke and wonder how the hell you put up with it.
At the same time, this disorder is a mental illness, just hard to diagnose, and worse if not impossible to treat. So you can allow yourself to be compassionate - just make sure you do not go back to him when he next switches tack and decides to pull you back in again.
You clearly state that you are financially able to take care of yourself, but you still let him do it for you. You say he doesn't control you, and then you list all the ways he is controlling you. You describe classic emotional abuse, you even call it abuse, hell HE even called it abuse; and then you wonder if its abuse.
He is abusing you. Get out of this relationship. Feel compassion for his illness, but keep your heart out of the mix. This man is toxic to you.