This is the biggest thing that really hurt me about my recent ex. I'm still trying to get over and heal from everything. But anyway, why is it that he could never be honest about his feelings, never communication, always ignored me alot, hung up on me, wouldn't talk to me for days, then call and act as if nothing ever happened? I would constantly say that honesty and communication is very important in a relationship, without it, there's no relationship, with it, you can resolve alot and prevent alot of hurt and confusion. To tell me if something bothers him, to talk to me about stuff, or atleast let me talk to him about my feelings, thoughts about things. But he wouldn't. He would get mad at something about me but not tell me and just take it out on me in other ways and if he would've talked to me I could've explained things or defended myself or calmed his worries or whatever. It's like they just get it in their heads these stupid beliefs or assumptions and you have no defense because they wont tell you. Or they'll say something then hang up on you and ignore you for days and not let you talk and then when you talk to them again and try to bring it up, they'll shut you down, act annoyed, ignore you some more. It was so extremely frustrating not to be heard, validated, acknowledged. Like my thoughts, feelings didn't matter. I didn't matter. I mean when he wanted to, he could talk alot, he could apologize or say all kinds of things, discuss all kinds of things. So I know he has it in him. When it mattered he wouldn't though. He could hurt me and then come over and say all kinds of wonderful things and I was suppose to just forgive and forget, I couldn't talk or ask questions or continue the conversations, it's suppose to be over after he talks. Like when I catch him in lies and really believe he's cheating. I can get answers explanations. He says he wants to work things out, wishes things were better, doesn't think it'll ever work out etc but I say it's because you have to work things out. Things don't work out by themselves if you dont' even talk to each other right? Honesty and communication would work things out. Talk to me, let me talk to you. Listen to me. God I hated that about him. He could be so cruel and heartless and I would believe it's over, he couldn't possibly care. He would act like it's over. And then a few days or a week later call me up all nice asking how I'm doin, can he come over, have sex, hang out or whatever. I'd be like thinking what the fuck? Are you deranged? I mean how can someone just think if you have a heart, you can possibly just forget shit so easily and pretend like everything is good and love on him or have sex with him when he was so blatantly ignoring you and your feelings and stabbing you in the heart. You'd be crying to pieces practicaly begging him to care and he'd just blow you off like you're an annoying whiney little kid and then call and act like nothing. He's not a jerk he says. He didn't hurt me or ruin things. You get the jift of what I"m talking about right? I can go on forever about the subject, need to stop before I do. It's so hurtful you know?
Posts You May Be Interested In
hi. i dont really know how to talk about things, and i have to admit im not completely sure if i have PTSD. but my friend told me to join this group. so here i am, im 16 years old, and got my permit for driving around june this year (my birthdays in april, but i had to wait due to family stuff) and two days after getting my permit, my car caught on fire while my dad and his friend were driving...
i'm a survivor of 4 decades of csa, cse, rape, torture, beatings, psychological terror, stalking & more at the hands of my abusive mother, sister, and their criminal friends. i suffered w/amnesia for 4 decades, the first 4 decades of my life. i'm only 44 years old now. i have a ton of health problems b/c of abuse, so i do a lot of pain management & physical therapy daily. what is really...