Sumbled across this site and found it to be a great anonymous way to tell a huge and sad secret I have dealt with for 22 years. I was a very popular outgoing educated person that got caught up rescuing a "bad boy" now 2 kids later I am stuck in a relationship that has scarred my soul. He has always been unattached but in the last 5 years it has gotten worse. I am on medication for panic attacks because I felt everything I did was wrong and would panic to fix it. I have since become detached from his cruel punishments of "cold shoulder" and "what the hell are you thinking" episodes. My kids are stable but are old enough to see that he treats me with no respect. Some days I hate him with every fiber of my being, and some days I walk through the motions, depending on his mood. NO ONE knows of my situation because I hide everything. But I know they suspect something, he is never seen with me, I like it that way so that he won't make a scene. He belittles me in front of people, or worse yet he waits until we are home and berates me to no end. I know he looks like the idiot but I feel like the one. I am not afraid to be alone, in fact I can't wait until the day, but I most fearful of what will happen to him. Thanks for listening....it was a huge start for me.
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