I recently have acknowledged that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. I have been married for 15 years and I am at the end of my rope. My wife is extremely controlling and always has been. She has huge trust issues and has had them since I met her long ago. In the past 15 years she has opened all my mail and grilled me on things related to it, scoured through credit card statements and questioned every nickel and dime, questioned every decision I have ever made, has isolated me from any of my friends to the point I have none anymore, isolated me from my family (parents and siblings) because she convinced me they were evil, etc. Five months ago I summoned the courage to tell her I had had enough. I got a counselor and am working on my passivness. she got a counselor and went to 5 sessions and come home and said "I am cured" and hasn't gone back. Her background is parents divorced early, father left and had nothing to do with her, mom died in her teens, father was alcohollic and physically abusive, etc. Huge issues. Huge. For the past 2 months she has been over the top kind and has been throwing sex at me all the time (in the past I would have been all over that, but now it repulses me). I feel even more manipulated and think all of this is an act and bullshit. I have tried to discuss how I feel she has abused me and she always turns it around on me and I become the abuser. We started going to a marriage counselor together and our second session is today. I sat in the first session and every point I tried to make she interrupted and basically laid the blame on me. The counselor attempted to have her not interupt me but she kept doing this. And she is changed? Now I have to go to another session where we are going to "work" on our marriage and I don't know what to do. Because of her actions of kindness all she says is "look how I have changed and you're not even trying". Again I get laden with guilt. Why? How do I overcome this? She says I have to stop living in the past. How can I? did she really change after 5 sessions and reading one book? My life has been stripped from me. At the counselor I keep getting told by the therapist that I need to restructure how I am discussing issues. But I am angry. I am angry I am not the person I should be. But I feel like I am being double teamed. I have engaged a lawyer and know I want out but I don't want to give her a heads up. I want to have a plan in place and protect myself. So how should I act in front of the counselor? Act reserved? Calm? Don't really press any issues? Bite my tongue? Help......
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