Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have PTSD and am in counciling, from repeated
mental and physical abuse by men since childhood.
I haven`t dated in a long time because of it. There is an older man that is interested in me and I went out with him a few times. I sense he
is a bit controlling, always having to pick the places, quite critical of others, very regimented
viewpoints and routines. I have told him several times that I don`t think we are compatible, but he just keeps calling and wiggling into my life, asking me to help him shop for something, whatever, and I end up back on a date with him. He just doesn`t seem to take no for an answer, and my boundaries are so bad, aned I am scared to turn him down and make him mad. When I get home, I am starting to feel tightening in my chest and am very nervous and anxious. He has done nothing mean to me, been very nice, generous, but his personality profile makes me so uncomfortable that I am just a wreck. He is super anal and has untreated OCD so I am uptight about every move I make that it will be wrong. I told him about my former abuse and the PTSD. He told me that I should just forget about it and the whole thing is just silly and i need to toughen up. How do I get away from this guy without worrying that he is going to come after me. I have been stalked and threatened to be killed by a boyfriend when I quit seeing him in the past. I just get so scared around men. I can`t handle dating. They have to be really sensitive and soft and kind or I just freak out. Any advice would be helpful.
mental and physical abuse by men since childhood.
I haven`t dated in a long time because of it. There is an older man that is interested in me and I went out with him a few times. I sense he
is a bit controlling, always having to pick the places, quite critical of others, very regimented
viewpoints and routines. I have told him several times that I don`t think we are compatible, but he just keeps calling and wiggling into my life, asking me to help him shop for something, whatever, and I end up back on a date with him. He just doesn`t seem to take no for an answer, and my boundaries are so bad, aned I am scared to turn him down and make him mad. When I get home, I am starting to feel tightening in my chest and am very nervous and anxious. He has done nothing mean to me, been very nice, generous, but his personality profile makes me so uncomfortable that I am just a wreck. He is super anal and has untreated OCD so I am uptight about every move I make that it will be wrong. I told him about my former abuse and the PTSD. He told me that I should just forget about it and the whole thing is just silly and i need to toughen up. How do I get away from this guy without worrying that he is going to come after me. I have been stalked and threatened to be killed by a boyfriend when I quit seeing him in the past. I just get so scared around men. I can`t handle dating. They have to be really sensitive and soft and kind or I just freak out. Any advice would be helpful.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
love and hugs
Did you get that? He has already seen something in you that allows him to be controlling and manipulative. He has already set a pattern for what he feels is a relationship. Doesn't matter what you want, he's already there. He HAS already done mean things to you, he has controlled you. Just because he hasn't called you names or hit you doesn't mean this isn't a power play.
GET OUT NOW.
UGH! Don't answer the phone when he calls, don't answer his emails, don't answer the
door. Do everything you can to get away from him. You will have so much more peace.
The more that you allow him to control the situation now, the harder it will be to cut the ties.
By the way, there is nothing wrong with a a guy who is sensitive, soft and kind. They do exist and that is what you deserve. What you DON'T deserve is someone who tells you that abuse is silly and you just need to "get over it."
lj
Consider taking a self-defense class. This might, correspondingly, help you with learning assertiveness.
Consider taking an assertiveness class (often you can find a free one within the community).
Consider changing your phone number to an unlisted number.
I am sorry you've got to deal with this and I certainly understand your concern.
He`s not that aggressive, more just a pain in the kneck but thanks anyways.