During my senior year, I was a naive 18 year old, I was a mentor in a church group. I met my ex through the group I was a mentor for when I first met him he was shy,kind,funny,loving,and caring. After getting to know him a bit he asked me out which I said yes to at first he seemed to be the right one but little did I know I was headed towards a dark path. After our third date he told me how he was going to propose me and he asked me to marry him on the spot. I told him to slow down he said he would but he never did, Over a few weeks he began to change drastically, He became very manipulative and controlling, He would control who I would talk to,what to say.what to wear and so on. He used to get mad when I didn’t reply to his texts right away. He used to tell me that he won’t love anyone again if I left and If I love God love him. There was a couple of times where he threaten to kill himself every time I tried to leave. He began to call me horrible names and call me down for little things. I always found myself glued to my computer or phone to talk him via text or facebook because if I didn't reply quick enough he would get all paranoid and angry at me. He made the relationship to there was no way out, I was losing friends and my grades were slipping. I was losing sleep plus I became very irritable,depressed,and isolated. The major red flag that made me realize that I need to get out was he told me that within 6 months he will be moving in with me. I knew I needed to get out before it got worse, I had to have a friend help me break it off with him. After a week he texted me during my science begging me to be friends I actually got in trouble with the teacher for it I ended up blocking him afterward. The relationship took a major toll on me physically and mentally, two days before his birthday I had a seizure that was 4-5 minutes long my mom couldn't get me to snap out of it. She calls 911 and the paramedics came to my house as they were rolling me out on the gurney towards the ambulance I fell unconscious. The seizure was caused by the stress and heartache he put me through. After the seizure, I was so depressed that I almost ended my life several times until that same friend took me to a mental health clinic to get me some help. I gained new insight and coping skills from that visit I learned how to love myself again after the relationship I felt worthless and useless. I have also learned to follow your passions and channel your pain into something beautiful. From this experience I have gained motivation and determination to continue my education while I'm healing. I currently attend online classes through Grand Canyon University my major is Christian Studies With An Emphasis in Global Ministries. I hope to be a missionary or a minister someday. It's been 9 months since the relationship ended I have up and down days I'm just blessed to have survived and I'm happy to be alive. I know I am strong and beautiful I'm ready to conquer the world.
This rollercoaster has come to an end and I am getting off the ride and staying off! Nothing will be easy with temptation alll around but I will lean on God's strength and "daily strength" to help me through another day.Just for today I WILL NOT GAMBLE! Stay strong.