I have been in a fabulous relationship for 3 years now. Last summer he asked me to marry him. Before when we were dating I had told him that I had been in an abusive relationship with a past boyfriend as it had been affecting ours at the time. He tried to move on, so I thought. He didn't encourage anymore information from me, and I didn't volunteer much afterwards. Recently, he has begun to be very interested in my past based on the fact we are getting closer to being married. He is a very religious Catholic person, and does not believe in divorce. He begged me to tell him every detail of what had happened to me. I preluded him to say not everything was easy to take and I did not want him to judge me for it. I have come to a deeper understanding of why and how it happened, and have begun to love myself again from it. I have done my forgiving. So, I told him the majority of what had happened to me, and he did not react well. In fact, the most hurtful part is that he couldnt' believe I had stayed, and questioned my morals and integrity for abandoning my family and friends at that time. He has had a past of leaving girlfriends when he has found out they had been abused, as he does not understand the cycle. In fact, he did say that had he known before he asked me to marry him, he would have left me. I am feeling very bitter, angry at him as I trusted him with this information that he asked for and feel very hurt. He says I shouldn't be angry, that I should understand his side, and that he feels I kept this terrible secret from him. How do I help him come to understand abuse and that his reaction was wrong? He does want to get counseling on how to deal with it, but his intentions were clear that it was more for me. I have not sought counseling but have had a wonderful family and friend support group that have led me to a healthier me. He had been a major part of that healing until today. I need advice. :(
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