I have escaped my abusive marriage for almost 3 years now and am still struggling with intrusive memories. I recall once as we sat down to a dinner I had prepared, my ex-husband suddenly became enraged because all of the food I prepared was of a similar color. He picked up his plate, threw it at me (there were 5 children at the table) yelling that I was a whore, terrible wife, piece of shit, the very devil. He then threw his steak knife at me, barely missing my head. I also recall one night being huddled up on the bed as he was raging over me, fist balled up, calling me every foul name he could think of, wishing for my death. This was normal for 10 years, or my normal. I have fear of all things, no self esteem, and wonder if I will ever regain that part of myself he stole.
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