The abuse resurfaced 6 years after I got married and has been on-going for the last 3 years now. I'm tired of it. I'm lonely and in need of feeling loved. I pamper myself and my kids show me love as much as kids can. Family are okay up to a certain extent, but I haven't given up on love yet. I am almost confident that the love will not come in the form of my husband, nor do I intend to cheat. I don't really know what I want. Someone earlier was slightly correct. I think I am partially witholding to make him CHANGE. The other part is that he makes my skin crawl. Maybe I want him to see that I am desirable by other men and would want to change. Or maybe, I should just hang up hopes of him altoghether and just look for my knight in shining armour, but I wouldn't know where to begin.
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