Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi. My name is Sandy. Its nearly 1 am, and like almost everynight since I left my fiance, I cant sleep. I am full of anxiety, doubt. My mind is always on, asking why? why? How could I love a man so deeply, and possibly still do (?)....I feel like Im at the end of my life, trying to grasp at who I used to be. Or figure out the new me. I go to counseling once a week. Does it get easier? Will I stop missing someone who took away all of my self worth, freedom, self esteem?? I guess being apart makes it easy to forget all the bruises, dragging me off the bed, pushing me down, pulling out my hair, and easy to remember all the good times. The I Love Yous. The Forgive Mes. The I Cant Live Without Yous. I count down the minutes til my next counseling session. she forces me to remember. Im afraid of going back. Ive managed to not see him since June. But I know he is only 5 miles away. I dont want to risk what strength Ive gained. I dont want to run into him and melt like in the past. I pray everyday.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
You think that if he is not around to see what good you do then why do anything. mind control is something that happens over time and can not be cured in a short time. Because this happened to you does not mean you are not strong. You would be surprised at the women who are strong figures in the community that are abused at home.
For some reason we feel to ashamed to tell anyone.
When telling is the first step to healing and your abuser never wants us to be strong enough to stand up and let people know because that would mean they are looseing the control they need to make them feel in charge.
Hate the illness, not the person. And certainly, you should not hate yourself. It wasn\'t your fault they got sick....or were born with diabetes, high blood pressure....whatever.
If your best friend had the flu, would you be angry at him/her? And would you crawl into bed with them and hope you got sick too? Heck no!!
We hurt because we want to believe the dream. Because we want to live happily ever after with our mate. And we keep holding on expecting them to change. It always does....but it is also just temporary. That is what the illness is all about.
When we face that reality, it is easier to move on in life.
Consider it a terminal illness or death. It\'s okay to mourn the loss, but quit going back to those old pictures and tapes, thinking they will come back to life. Give your mate to God. It is not our job to fix or heal them. Let God do his job. Then give YOURSELF to God. He will take you to the place you need to be, if you surrender to Him. God helps those who CAN\'T help themselves.
But most of all, don\'t forget that abusers have an illness that you cannot cure. It is NOT your fault and there is no need staying up all night trying to figure out how to cure cancer.
I\'ve been trying for 22 years. I have finally finally seen the light!!!
Such is abuse IMHO, some can and never will be helped. They view or feel and maybe don\'t even realize some actions as an attackm they feel fear where others don;t and they react. They are in a chronic state of anger and lash at the smallest things and have no control. Some can not be helped and must be sent back to the pound.
connielynreturns
I should say "was" addicted to the Power of abusing me. As of today, the fantasy that I always still carried with me just poofed into dust and I can finally see the real picture. I feel so EMPOWERED right now! I hope I can stay this way.
Yes, it is easy to forget the horrible things and only remember the nice kind things that he did or said to manipulate us into being subserviant. The more we stand up to him, the more the abuse will escalate.
What a weak spineless man to throw around a woman! A guy 3 times my size, big and muscular. Really? I thought I was in love with THAT!!??
I pray that you stay strong and OWN YOURSELF! Do not give him any ownership if you should happen to run into him. See him for what he really is! I pray that you do not fall for the phony charm and get sucked in by the ACTOR!