Ever since i was little i got abused both emotionally and physically by my parents and sister, id feel like i was trapped as when there was an argument or something all 3 of them would pick on me. My father has major anger issues which its scary to be around him when hes angry because there are a few situations where things got out of hand with him. At the end of last year my boyfriend at the time was a very mentally ill guy who has add and would hit his mum etc and the night he broke up with me he threatened to do things that really scared me and told me he smashed his window so anyway scared for both my safety and his mums i called the police and soon enough they came to my house to check i was ok after being at his house. My dad was angry he got woken up by the cops and so after they left my dad got really angry and decided to get right up in my face and it was like he was spitting when he was talking then decided to throw my down our stairs and push me holding me so tight then when i was falling down the stairs and calling for mum she didn't believe me and thought i was just crying being stupid and i sat there crying in pain and shock for and hour or so in the dark. The next one happened a few weeks ago when my dad got angry over my sister not asking a question and it wasn't a big deal because my dad was heated enough so he was grabbing her by the arms and it was like he was throwing her around and pushed her into the cupboard and threw a punch and said "i will punch you to my sister" when i was just frozen and shaking then when i got up the courage i tried to stop him by punching him so hard on the back so my sister could have the chance to get away and again at this one he was right up in my sisters face he was spitting when yelling. I am really scared to even live at home let alone be around my dad or know him and im pretty sure there were other times but i dont remember them. Im trying so hard to get a job and to be able to provide for myself and others but the fact is i cant i have no self esteem because my mum and dad never really praise the good things i do but instead only put me down all the time or dont believe in me and sometimes they practically say that im not part of the family and not their daughter like they dont want me. i cry so much even at church about it because i just want a normal life
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have you ever noticed that? when your abuser is in a rage, that his eyes go black?I thought that mine was the only one who did it, until livelife mentioned that her abuser's eyes did that too.It scared me, because it didn't seem to be his pupils getting bigger. It was like something black overtook him.has anyone else ever experienced this, or knows what it is?