I think the hammock thing was just being selfish. I think you guys need to quick kicking each other because now he thinks its ok and its not.I hope everything works out.

Here's a list that was thread around here for a long time but now i can't find it. Thank heavens i copied it into my journal. You can decide for yourself if your relationship is abusive.

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Red Flags can tell us that we need to tread water for a while, and reassess this relationship. If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be in a potentially dangerous relationship!

Does he reject your right to decide if you'll use birth control?
Does he reject your right to decide whether to work at a paid job?
Does he refuse to let you spend time alone?
Is he upset you have other friends?
Is he displeased at your accomplishments and ambitions?
Does he have trouble accepting the fact that women can and should be wise, worldly, confident, strong, decisive and independent as men?
Does he refuse to talk and listen?
Does he hide from you the fact that his feelings are hurt?
Does he think its bad for men to show they are weak or vulnerable and to cry sometimes - aside from after he has abused you?
Is he unable to express affection aside from the times he's sorry for abusing you and when he wants, or you are having sex?
Are there some special traits about women's ability to express emotions, willingness to be vulnerable, that he admires
Does he dislike or degrade his mother or sister?
Does he lack good friends?
Does he lack interests besides you?
When angry, does he break or throw things?
Does he lose his temper over small things, especially when he doesn't perform as well as he would like?
Does he ask you about other men in your past life?
does he want to know where you have been when you have been out?
Does he believe husbands should make the important decisions?
Does he reject your opinion?
Does he think there are any circumstances in which it is okay for a man to hit a woman?
Is he jealous of your friends or relatives?
Does he think you are with another man when you are not home when he calls?
Does he think men should earn more than women in the same job?
Does he especially want baby boys and associates fathering boys with masculinity?
Does he think you have enough education even though you want to go to school?
Does he get angry if meals are late, or food isn't just right?
Does he take over when you are having trouble doing something whether you want to or not?
When he is hurt, does he act angry instead?
Does he silently sulk when angry?
Does he ridicule you for being stupid, or for characteristics that are typical of women?
Do you like yourself less than usual when you have been with him?
Has he spent time in jail?
Was he abused as a child?
Does he sometimes put you on a pedestal, saying he doesn't deserve you?
Are there some qualities you especially like about yourself that he disapproves of or ridicules?
When you have acted independently, has he called you a "woman libber" or "dyke"?
Has he been in fist fights or hit other women he's been involved with?
Has he ignored your feelings?
Has he continually criticized you, called you names, or shouted at you?
Has he ridiculed or insulted your religion, race, heritage, or class?
Has he withheld approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment?
Does he insult your friends and family?
Does he humiliate you in private or public?
Does he refuse to socialize with you?
Does he try to keep you from working?
Does he try to control your money?
Does he try to make all the decisions?
Does he make excuses for not working?
Is it all right to spend your money but not his?
Does his punishment of children seem excessive?
Does he tell you about past affairs?
Is he abusive to pets?
Does he tell anti-woman jokes or make demeaning remarks about women?
Does he treat women as sex objects?
Does he get jealous and assume you would have sex with anyone?
Has he publicly shown sexual interest in other women?
Does he call you names like "whore" or "frigid"?
Has he had affairs after agreeing to a monogamous relationship?
Does he assume the right to control how you live and behave?
Do you rehearse what you will say so as not to make him angry?
Does he bewilder you by switching from charm to rage without warning?
Do you often feel confused, off balance or inadequate with him?
Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong?
Do you fear his reactions?

I broke up with him several months ago, and I do know for a fact he was emotionally abusive. I'm just not sure that those other things qualify as physical abuse.

I think the hammock thing qualifies as abuse, the kicking thing is iffy.

I couldnt carry on reading queenvales reply.Saw too many in my partner.

Yes that was physical abuse - in my opinion - of a very dangerous nature. You could have cracked your skull - broken a tooth - hit the corner of something - I think that was terrible. To be literally flipped over with no warning, and landing on concrete, is abusive and dangerous.

Yes, yes, both physically abusive, abusive in general, without a doubt

for me abuse is if you feel abused. I mean sometimes we are looking for some label of what is labeled to be abuse.So if you close your eyes and stop thinking for a moment just feel.Do you feel abused then?

queenval... you bring the red flags up... again! what is this! whenever i am curious, and wanting to look at 'em, you just happen to post them... i mean come on, what's up with that?

I copied and pasted them into my journal. Anytime some one has to ask if their situation is abusive, i post the red flags and let them figure it out for temselves. That's the only way to really see it. You've got to come to it yourself otherwise it's not real, it's just a strangers opinion.

Whether it is abusive or not it is against the law to touch someone in a way they have not consented to. It is a criminal act. You can also sue someone for it. These laws build up over time and are generally in line with community standards. This is the law in the USA, Australia, UK and all common law countries.

If you got a bruise from it that is abuse.I was married to a very abusive man and he hurt me too. Be careful.

Yes! However if you're both kicking each other, than I have to say that you're both abusing each other..physically. The hammock thing...Yes...

*Note to Val- thanks for posting the Red Flags, it serves as a reminder of the signs...For all of us in and out of abusive relationships.

I think you endured physical abuse, but the question remains "What do you think it was?? Carm416

Ok, if you ever had/have kids would you do this to them, would you let them do this to you?
Someone you love dearly, maybe a parent/guardian, grandparent,niece nephew, friend etc, would it be ok to do this to them or vice versa, do you consider it abuse if you saw it happening in the street?
It is ABUSE.