well i'm afraid i'm still not managing to be away completely, we're still in contact but he keeps on being cruel and using lots of tactics to keep me hanging on and feeling upset and confused and making decissions i probably shouldn't be making. the only diference is that for the last few days i'm angry. angry that he's doing this. angry that he's saying he's changed yet his actions don't show it. angry that i have to still talk to him because i said i would and that's because he won't take no for an answer. angry that he's just, still around. i know that sounds so horrible. cruel. if i don't want him why stay. i mean, why talk to him. i still feel some kind of tie. slme kind of bond. i am finding it tough to break completely but i'm angry. is that good? I do feel awful that i don't want to talk to him yet i said i would. like i have hope yet my anger that he changed his mind about his decision and won't let me do either way without telling me how awful and horrible i am is wrong. i know it. but i do feel that i am writing this horrible things about him here yet talking to him like its ok.. its not/1 but then i feel ok because its not my fault i can' tell him. its his fault. not mine/1 please tell me if anger is a good start. a good sign. if it helps. and why i can't just use my anger to break free yet.
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