Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
so its been so bad for long and i just don't trust him anymore.i don't even know if what he says id the truth or just lines.lip service.sometimes he is so god i think he means it.then i am shocked and back in the same spot.
its been having some bad affects on me lately.like the past 2 nights i have been waking up in the middle of the night having anxiety,panic attacks.i think it is from all this.there isn't anything else that is bothering me.
now im so scared and i know i have to do something.i talked to him yesterday got the same then it seemed like he cared.
today he calls me and it seems like its the same old only care about him what he needs wants.
so he gets mad at me then all of a sudden it changed to he doesn't want to lose would spend the rest of his life missing me.he knows i can only take so much and he needs to start trying.more but basically things like that.so now im more confused.i don't know whether to give it a shot. or not.what if he means it.
maybe he knows at at the end of my rope and i wont take it anymore.
he says you are gonna leave to me.
i have felt that way for so long.now i feel so paralyzed trapped in this fear.
what all of a sudden he figures it out and wants to try.usually i get crap and there is no remorse.its always like this is a bother.so i cant help but think this is something that will come back and he will get mean and it will be worse.so im so confused and scared.at this.i didn't even say i was gonna leave.yes im thinking it and im very unhappy and my anxiety is acting up again and that in itself is horrible but with these things in the mix it so much worse.could it be a game or real.
it was hard to read him cause he called me i didn't see his face.i can usually tell in his eyes.
i cant feel this way anymore he is right.he says he doesn't want it this way either.
its having so many effects on me.like eating isn't even a thing i feel like doing .everything that is a pleasure i don't find a want to do.its almost like i just exist.could it be he sees this and somehow he realized,or is it another one of the games or whatever they were.
then on top of it i asked him so he could get mad at that.and say i don't trust him.
usually its this ugly blame thing he wants none of it.i don't try to blame him i just say how i feel and try to talk about things.
now it seems he doesn't care if it is.
what happened this has been going on for months years.
i want to trust who doesn't want tot rust there spouse.i just get so tired and drained from trying to explain to him how it works and try so more.about respect love equality trust.
its hard and right now im so confused.yes i love him but lately i dot like who he has become.
i like him fro him of course.its just not the way it was .he hasn't treated me like a person or with the respect he used too.i have tried so many time to think what am i doing and change this that.
so of course you love someone for who they are but does that mean you have to hurt and take hurt.?
its that fine line there and in a talk with him that gets horrible and my head whirls because he is smart and does know the difference.its a lot of fine lines.it sometimes as felt like there is a life of loopholes and technicalities.im serious if he didn't say a statement fully then he could say i didn't exactly say this.then afterwards he was just mad etc.dint mean it.
now its all this he wants and needs to try and wants me to stick it out with him.needs it to better cares.
so i don't know what to think or do.its sad it has to be this way,i don't ,never wanted it too.
its been having some bad affects on me lately.like the past 2 nights i have been waking up in the middle of the night having anxiety,panic attacks.i think it is from all this.there isn't anything else that is bothering me.
now im so scared and i know i have to do something.i talked to him yesterday got the same then it seemed like he cared.
today he calls me and it seems like its the same old only care about him what he needs wants.
so he gets mad at me then all of a sudden it changed to he doesn't want to lose would spend the rest of his life missing me.he knows i can only take so much and he needs to start trying.more but basically things like that.so now im more confused.i don't know whether to give it a shot. or not.what if he means it.
maybe he knows at at the end of my rope and i wont take it anymore.
he says you are gonna leave to me.
i have felt that way for so long.now i feel so paralyzed trapped in this fear.
what all of a sudden he figures it out and wants to try.usually i get crap and there is no remorse.its always like this is a bother.so i cant help but think this is something that will come back and he will get mean and it will be worse.so im so confused and scared.at this.i didn't even say i was gonna leave.yes im thinking it and im very unhappy and my anxiety is acting up again and that in itself is horrible but with these things in the mix it so much worse.could it be a game or real.
it was hard to read him cause he called me i didn't see his face.i can usually tell in his eyes.
i cant feel this way anymore he is right.he says he doesn't want it this way either.
its having so many effects on me.like eating isn't even a thing i feel like doing .everything that is a pleasure i don't find a want to do.its almost like i just exist.could it be he sees this and somehow he realized,or is it another one of the games or whatever they were.
then on top of it i asked him so he could get mad at that.and say i don't trust him.
usually its this ugly blame thing he wants none of it.i don't try to blame him i just say how i feel and try to talk about things.
now it seems he doesn't care if it is.
what happened this has been going on for months years.
i want to trust who doesn't want tot rust there spouse.i just get so tired and drained from trying to explain to him how it works and try so more.about respect love equality trust.
its hard and right now im so confused.yes i love him but lately i dot like who he has become.
i like him fro him of course.its just not the way it was .he hasn't treated me like a person or with the respect he used too.i have tried so many time to think what am i doing and change this that.
so of course you love someone for who they are but does that mean you have to hurt and take hurt.?
its that fine line there and in a talk with him that gets horrible and my head whirls because he is smart and does know the difference.its a lot of fine lines.it sometimes as felt like there is a life of loopholes and technicalities.im serious if he didn't say a statement fully then he could say i didn't exactly say this.then afterwards he was just mad etc.dint mean it.
now its all this he wants and needs to try and wants me to stick it out with him.needs it to better cares.
so i don't know what to think or do.its sad it has to be this way,i don't ,never wanted it too.
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
I have been where you are... I have come to a different place of detachment but the pain never leaves and the knowledge that at any moment that monster could show up again... Chances are very good he won't change... only get worst. This... relationship... these feelings... it cannot be LOVE! Love should never hurt soooooo much!
Here4You!!!
Angel
OF COURSE you can love someone for who they are, and indeed, IN SPITE OF who they are. That is what makes love so powerful. Its unconditional. But its a leap when people think that because "I love him" therefore "I should stay with him"... loving him has nothing to do with staying with him. LOVE YOURSELF enough to get out when you have had enough, and when that happens, you can continue to love him from a new point of view. You never have to stop loving someone, but loving them doesn't give them carte blanche in your life. I can simultaneously accept and love someone right where they are AND decide that I won't live my life WITH THEM where they are. Love him in the rear view mirror, so to speak.
But while you say you are at the end of your rope, if you are still there, there is at least a little rope left. When you have truly had enough, you will be ready to go. Until then, just try to be gentle with yourself.
I read something today that was talking about realizing that if you have to keep explaining the basic concepts of love, decency, respect and communication to someone, then perhaps you need to focus moreof your energy on giving those things to yourself rather than trying to teach someone who likely will never learn how to give them to you.
You say "its sad it has to be this way"... but the truth is, it doesn't have to be this way. You can only take control over the aspects that are in your grasp. Change what you can... you.
he hasn't treated me like a person or with the respect he used too.i have tried so many time to think what am i doing and change this that.
Sweetie ---- You are doing NOTHING.
Everything he's doing is based on HIM, not YOU.
You can do nothing, that will change what he's doing.
No one, anywhere, should be with someone who treats them with disrespect.
We deserve, nothing but respect from those with whom we interact, and love from those who've promised love.
I have grown to a place where I expect nothing less, and accept nothing less.
You can too.
If you don't, you'll get a lifetime more of what you're getting now. Is that okay with you? I hope not. You are a shining star in the universe. you deserve happiness and fulfillment. Do you agree?