I have been seeing dave for almost 4 years. I was married when we met and he was an exboyfriend from 20 years ago. needless to say i had an affair. Things were fine until a month after daves mom died, then the world became my fault. he has called me every name in the book, he has embarrassed and humiliated me, accused me of cheating and throwing it in my face that i cheated when we met. He is so mean to me and I still cant let him go. He just told me on the phone that i am dead to him and he regrets ever being with me. We found each other on classmates. We live 100 miles apart and the phone is all we had. My husband now knows of the affair and has forgiven me, and i love my husband, but i just wanted dave to "let me go" and be nice out the door. He told me he hated me and no one has ever said that to me before and it hurts so bad. He told me he was throwing me out like trash because that is what i am. I have to say that i have alot of friends but only three that knew about him, and i dont know what it is that i need from him to be able to be free of him. I am torn to shreds on the inside, and i have my husband to talk to, but i dont want to see my hubs hurt more than he already has been. so what am i doing? I feel like im on the edge of a cliff and dave is trying to push me over. When i finish my journal, i hope someone will take the time to read it and really help me. everytime i read a story on here, i see someone else writing exactly how i feel, and what ive been through. If anyone wants to read what ive written so far, add me as a friend and i will make it visible for friends.
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