None of this is OK. None of it. Don't try and justify any of it, don't try and make it sound not as bad as it is. This is horrible. This relationship is toxic. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you, and he didn't deserve anthing that happened to him.

Have you called AA yet? Get on the phone and start your path to sobriety. Otherwise this is going to continue to happen and there's nothing anyone here can do to help you. Your first priority needs to be your sobriety, not your relationship with this jackass.

No one deserves it.

Slapping is not justifiable for either party. If someone is verbally attacking you, it is best to turn and walk away before it escallates to violence. Alcohol only fuels the flames on both parts, so it is best to stay away from it until you can get your relationship issues resolved.

Let me repeat, ANY form of physical violence, slapping, hitting, punching, grabbing and holding, twisting, rubbing, raping and any other form you can name is NOT ok and NOBODY deserves it. It is important for both parties to stop short of any of these violent reactions, but verbal attacks are NOT ok either.

if one or the other in this relationship was healthy, it would have gone down in 2 ways.
#1 - you put cigarrette out on carpet. He gets mad and breaks up. No verbal insults, no hitting.
#2 - you didn't put the cigarrette out on the carpet.

He only has hurt me when I'm very drunk and don't really know what the hell I'm doing or is going on. I don't hit him or verbally abuse him or anything. He says that I do when drunk. I tell him that I can't control myself when drunk and shouldn't get drunk anymore, but then I ended up doing so again and he always buys it and it's almost like he takes advantage of me when I'm drunk, sexually as well. But I don't remember half the shit so can't really accuse him of much or put at the blame on him. I feel like it's my fault for getting drunk you know? He sure makes me feel that way. It's gotta stop I know.