Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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I want everyones opinion on my situation

deleted_user
deleted_user
I used to be in a relationship where my boyfriend was abusive. On a scale of 1-10 10 being the worst I would say I was about a 7 or 8. I have never had a broken bone or had to get stiches from him, but everything else you can think of happend. I was pinched, name called, made to feel like shit, slapped, punched, been a target for random objects, have objects in my home be broken, cheated on, raped, forced into leaving my family, threatened to be killed. the list could go on and on. my question to everyone out there is would you let your children around a man like that? Keep in mind that in order to get my child back a couple times, i have had to get the police involved. he doesn't pay child support, he doesn't support his son, but he claims to love him more than life itself. would you as parents and people of experience let a man (a boy i should say) have any kind of visitation? and also what do you say to the parents of the abuser who want their son to see my child? one last thing, if you have been abused from 1-10 what would you rate your abuse? i know its a funny question but i would like to get the feel of who i am talking to and what they have been through. you don't have to explain what you went through. kind of an anonymous way to let out.
liz99dk
liz99dk
I have a different side to the story. Now, while you know your ex really DID abuse you, my bf ex "claims: he hit her. Now while he has never hit me, whos to say it didnt happen. Anyway, he loves his two children, but to be alone and have them come visit, he had to PROVE it. Anger management classes, supervised visitations, everything. If your ex really wants to spend time with his son, he will go through those steps as well, to prove he is fit to see him. However, your situation, ie with the abuse, seems very severe. I would definitely make sure your ex is supervised. Oh, and he better bring diapers, food, formula, something if hes not paying child support. Your local child protective services would probably even let you set up visitation at one of their facilities so he wouldnt have to be at your home and it would be neutral and mediated. I dont know, its a tough call.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My situation is emotional abuse, never physical with him but just as damaging as i have been around both kinds of abuse in my life, on an emotional abuse scale 1-10, i'd have to say that my situation with him is about a 9. He is a complete monster of a man! We also have a son, he's 18months old & i'm 9weeks pregnant. I guess the question i keep asking my self is am i going to let him have vistation rights to our son & eventually newborn for him or for my kids? I always think of others feelings before my own & he has always demanded that his feelings come first in every situation. But he only wants to see our son for his own selfish reason, not becuase he wants to offer him love or any sort of stability. Will my son or newborn baby really get anything out of having a father like that visiting them? I still don't know.
I guess if he is to go through some sort of councilling or anger management & was to prove to me that he is not going to abuse my children the way he has me then i think that he may have something to offer to my children.
At the moment he offers no support towards our son, financially, physically or emotionally, he abandoned us over 7weeks ago & hasn't made any attempt to visit our son who he claims is his world! he of course blames me for not being a full time father but it's just his sorry excuse for being such a shitty person. I've never stopped him or kept him away from our son but at the moment he is just such a total useless person to all of us, he's not a good reliable dad or even a kind caring person, i feel right now i don't want him to be any where near us.
He has called & TELLS me when he will visit & how the visit will take place & for the first time i have said NO to him as his expectations are just so manipulative & degrading towards me. Everything he does is just to hurt & damage me & i honestly don't feel he is even interested in seeing our son, it's more just to hurt me, he's already using our son & so he's abusing us both. I'm not going to let that happen.
I think these men need to prove they can be trusted & that they are in the process of changing there ways before they have any right to come anywhere near our children!
It's our jobs as mothers to protect our kids, they really don't have any rights when they are an abusive person.
As for his parents what ever your decision is they will have to deal with it & if they have any respect for you or their grandson then they will understand if you choose to keep him away.
My son's grandparents are useless human beings just like his dad, they don't care what happens to me or their grandson just as long as their son is happy. They acccept is abusive behavior & never question his actions. They wouldn't know how to do the right thing if their lives depended on it.Those people are totally useless & so for me i couldn't care less what they have to say!
He has destroyed my soul & i will not allow him to do that to my babies.
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