I have a different side to the story. Now, while you know your ex really DID abuse you, my bf ex "claims: he hit her. Now while he has never hit me, whos to say it didnt happen. Anyway, he loves his two children, but to be alone and have them come visit, he had to PROVE it. Anger management classes, supervised visitations, everything. If your ex really wants to spend time with his son, he will go through those steps as well, to prove he is fit to see him. However, your situation, ie with the abuse, seems very severe. I would definitely make sure your ex is supervised. Oh, and he better bring diapers, food, formula, something if hes not paying child support. Your local child protective services would probably even let you set up visitation at one of their facilities so he wouldnt have to be at your home and it would be neutral and mediated. I dont know, its a tough call.

My situation is emotional abuse, never physical with him but just as damaging as i have been around both kinds of abuse in my life, on an emotional abuse scale 1-10, i'd have to say that my situation with him is about a 9. He is a complete monster of a man! We also have a son, he's 18months old & i'm 9weeks pregnant. I guess the question i keep asking my self is am i going to let him have vistation rights to our son & eventually newborn for him or for my kids? I always think of others feelings before my own & he has always demanded that his feelings come first in every situation. But he only wants to see our son for his own selfish reason, not becuase he wants to offer him love or any sort of stability. Will my son or newborn baby really get anything out of having a father like that visiting them? I still don't know.
I guess if he is to go through some sort of councilling or anger management & was to prove to me that he is not going to abuse my children the way he has me then i think that he may have something to offer to my children.
At the moment he offers no support towards our son, financially, physically or emotionally, he abandoned us over 7weeks ago & hasn't made any attempt to visit our son who he claims is his world! he of course blames me for not being a full time father but it's just his sorry excuse for being such a shitty person. I've never stopped him or kept him away from our son but at the moment he is just such a total useless person to all of us, he's not a good reliable dad or even a kind caring person, i feel right now i don't want him to be any where near us.
He has called & TELLS me when he will visit & how the visit will take place & for the first time i have said NO to him as his expectations are just so manipulative & degrading towards me. Everything he does is just to hurt & damage me & i honestly don't feel he is even interested in seeing our son, it's more just to hurt me, he's already using our son & so he's abusing us both. I'm not going to let that happen.
I think these men need to prove they can be trusted & that they are in the process of changing there ways before they have any right to come anywhere near our children!
It's our jobs as mothers to protect our kids, they really don't have any rights when they are an abusive person.
As for his parents what ever your decision is they will have to deal with it & if they have any respect for you or their grandson then they will understand if you choose to keep him away.
My son's grandparents are useless human beings just like his dad, they don't care what happens to me or their grandson just as long as their son is happy. They acccept is abusive behavior & never question his actions. They wouldn't know how to do the right thing if their lives depended on it.Those people are totally useless & so for me i couldn't care less what they have to say!
He has destroyed my soul & i will not allow him to do that to my babies.