I don't know how to really tell this, so I won't tell too much. I was in a relationship w/ a man much older than me on off for 3 years from when I was 14 up until I was 17. He was physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive to me. After the relatiosnhip ended, we tried to maintain a friendship; but he wanted more than a friendship. Looking back on it now, I see that he used my wanting friendship as a way for him to get me over to his place. Whenever I went over there, he would always get upset with me for not wanting to have sex or something like that, so he would either force me to, yell at me, or just express his anger in other ways... Twice I completely cut off contact with him while I was in college, but he would always send me an email or leave a message on my phone saying how sorry he was, and that he loved me and I was the one for him and that's why he got so angry with me. He would say he was trying to push me away, but he knew it was only because he didn't want me to get to close to him. Out of desperation and my unhealthy attachment, I would give in. It finally all came to a head last year on the night of February 3, 2006. Like many nights before he wanted more, but I didn't want to give it to him. After some drinking, he took me to the back of the house because I wasn't feeling well. Next thing I know he's on top of me, and no matter how much kicking or screaming or biting I did he just hit me and raped me three times. The last time he got up, and went into the bathroom, and I bolted for the door. I ran to the neighbor's, and as soon as they saw me they called the police who took me away in an ambulance. Needless to say to make matters worse, after embarrassing interrogations with detectives who couldn't find time to show up at the scene that night, they found that they didn't have enough evidence to interrogate. Now... I'm just trying to figure things out... I don't know I guess I just wanted to get this out. I'm learning that I need to talk, but I know noone else around me understands. They're used to me being the happy, cheerful no problems in the world person. Only a handful of people know because they were called to the hospital. I don't think I can share this with others.
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