I miss being held, I don't understand my own weakness, he hasn't held me for years, but I miss him holding me, he hasn't complimented me for years but I miss him saying kind things....I miss being cherished... I missed ..... I'm trying not to e-mail, call, not to fall into needy habits, to be self suficient. To find me again, not to define myself by his vision. Where did I go? Please Lord, help me be stronger than I feel. I don't want, can't hear his words, his anger, his guilt, his threats.... please give me strength. I don't want to be alone, but I want to be happy, are those not achievabel ideals? I want to be ok by myself, I was ok before him, where did I go?
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