Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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I NEED YOU!!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I WANT TO SHOUT OUT TO YOU GUYS THAT I AM AFRAID I AM DYING OF A BROKEN HEART. I HAVE TRIED AND TOLERATED EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I WAS TURNING TO A FEW DRINKS TO COPE, AND SINCE I GAVE THAT UP I FEEL POWERLESS. HE DOESN'T ALLOW ME TO HAVE ANYTHING THAT INTERESTS ME OR FRIENDS. IF I DO SOMETHING, FOR EXAMPLE, START READING WITH HIM IN THE ROOM, HE TALKS AND TALKS SO LOUD I CAN'T CONCENTRATE. IF I LOOK AT THE TV HE KEEPS TALKING AND I CAN'T EVEN HEAR THE NEWS IN THE MORNING. I GOT REALLY ILL LAST NIGHT WHEN HE RAISED HIS VOICE AS I WAS STARTING MY DINNER.I AM SO ILL TODAY THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF FOR RELIEF....HE STARTED YELLING DURING THE NIGHT AT THE CAT, THE CAT SNEEZED. IT WOKE ME AND MY STOMACH WENT INTO A FURTHER KNOT. I AM SO TENSE I WANT TO POUND MY SHOULDER MUSCLES FOR RELIEF. I AM TAKING PAIN KILLERS EVERY 4 HRS AND I AM STILL SO SICK. I AM AFRAID I AM DYING AND I DON'T WANT TO. AT THE SAME TIME, WHEN I FEEL THE HATRED I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM BEING SUCH A SICK LOSER. MY INSTINCT IS TO HELP PEOPLE AND ANIMALS SO I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAJOR LIFE CONFLICT. I JUST GOT A BOOK ON ANGER TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND HIM, IT MAKES ME SICKER TO READ THAT HE GETS A HIGH, HE GETS AN ADRENALINE RUSH FROM DOING THIS TO ME. PLEASE DON'T PORTRAY ME AS A PERSON WHO WANTS TO BE A VICTIM, I AM OLDER NOW, MUCH OLDER, AND I AM TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. THIS AM HE SCREAMED ABOUT THE COMPUTER...I AM ONLY MARRIED TO HIM FOR 5 YRS AND I HAD A COMPUTER YEARS BEFORE I EVER KNEW HIM. HE NEVER HAD ONE IN HIS LIFE. HE TOUCHED THE KEYBOARD AND BECAME AN EXPERT, MAKING ME TOTALLY INADEQUATE IN HIS SICK MIND. I LET HIM ABUSE ME ALL THE TIME.
COULD SOMEONE TALK TO ME FAST I AM ALMOST SHEDDING TEARS I AM SO SAD LIVING LIKE THIS. I AM NOT A WOMAN THAT CRIES SO I AM MORE OR LESS COMPLETLY DESTROYED BY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW. I WANT MY LIFE BACK FROM FIVE YEARS AGO!!!

SHOULD I JUST CRY?????///
deleted_user
deleted_user
*hugs* sorry you're going through all this, men can be horrible... there is no shame in crying if it helps you, hope you're ok
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, honey! It's going to be ok! I think that you should visit QueenValerie's profile, she has a wonderful journal entry about escape plans... You deserve so much better than this! We are all here if you need to talk at any time!
queenvalerie
queenvalerie
No you shouldn't just cry. You should grab your clothes, grab your cat and run for your life. That's what you should do. Stop trying to understand him missy, you never will. They don't think like normal people. Abusers can explain until they are blue in the face and it just won't make one single bit of difference.

Don't just sit there honey, go and i mean GO NOW. Call a hotline, call a shelter, call a neighbor, call a relative. Get your butt out of that house.

I just messaged you the escape plan that maryarlene mentioned.

Please missy, please. Use it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
*ditto* was val said, what I meant was, there is nothing wrong w/ crying but u should leave asap
queenvalerie
queenvalerie
jondy's right..theres no shame in the tears. Just don't stop there. Keep going...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry and so KNOW what you're feeling right now at this very moment. I'm there myself. Even sick to my stomach over it. Mine loves to withhold money so I can barely shop for groceries or pay for my meds. I am afraid to call friends because if we go out or I go for a visit I can't afford to bring anything. I count change and cash it in all the time. And yet, I can't be mean to him. Last weekend he had a toothache and I took care of calling the doctor, etc. Went and got his pills. He say it's my fault I'm so broke. I'm on social security disability. Yes, it's my fault I'm sick.

Lovely, ain't it. He also said I deprived him of a family because I wouldn't have more children with him. We only have one child. He is nasty, sarcastic, demeaning, oh..the list goes on. I would run if I didn't have my daughter. Believe you me!!!

Honey, you are stronger than I am. You get yourself out of there NOW. Don't even think twice about it. You certainly CAN HAVE your life back from 5 years ago and YOU SHOULD! Go do it.

Don't even think twice. Follow the advice on leaving from the previous post(s).

Hugs and all the best!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
He sounds just like the guy my best friend was married to. He was an abuser, and bi-polar. She drank, and took pain killers too, just to get through the days. You must get away. I begged her to come to my house, so many times. She was always afraid. I can't imagine how it must be. Please get away. She only left him after he threw her down the stairs and into the plate glass entry, severely cutting her hand. He started out controlling, belittling, and isolating her from all of us. He called us and tried to convince us, she was the problem and that she was crazy. It eventually escalated to physical violence. I agree you don't deserve this, and you must get away from him. You can't fix him or save him, but you can save yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My sentiments exactly QueenVal. A wise woman there Missy...we've all been there...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Many times on this site DS I am ashamed of being a man. Mind some have even questioned that.
Loved1
Loved1
Empower that urge to return to your life and your spirit that needs nourishing and is warning you it can't grow in this hostile environment and how can you save anyone if you don't save yourself first (on the airplane we're told...put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your kids... - that's our tendency to look outside of us and forget ourself). Time to save yourself he'll be ok and it is not healthy for him either to not suffer consequences for his treatment of you. I'm rooting for you. I am staying away from my off and on boyfriend and hope to stay away one day at a time and it feels better, nourishing to me soul to be free from emotional and verbal abuse... Once I recognize it for what it is to stay is to lie to myself and I've done it, been back 4 times... just for today with the help here I can stay away.
LisaACOA
LisaACOA
I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I have been there. I just recently left a physically , emotionally and verbally abussive relationship. I stayed with him way longer than I should have. I had to file Police Report. You need to get out of there now!! It won't be easy but, you can do it.
I would recommend that you call the Y.W.C.A. It is a great organization. They have lots of services for abused women and children. They offer counseling, support groups,emergency shelter, legal advice, help with schooling, child care and so much more. They will help you find housing and hold your hand through this horrible ordeal.

Things you need to start doing now....

Put legal documents in a
safe place.

Have copies made of keys to the house and car.

Put any medication that you take in a safe place.

Let your neighbors know what is going on.

Develop a code with neighbors if you are in trouble so they can call the police.

Keep your cell phone charged and keep the charger in a safe place.

Put aside some money, credit cards, and change in a safe place.

Put a couple changes of clothes in a safe place.
Cosmetics etc.

Keep a bag packed for when you are ready to leave.

*Be very careful when it comes down to the end they can become even more violent.

After you leave don't come back unless, you have a police officer with you.

You should file a Restraining Order on him.

If you need to talk, I am here for you. GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE.

Your friend,

Lisa
abusehurts
deleted_user
deleted_user
No, do not just cry...get out!
A DV expert made a presentation at group therapy today. She said something that was very empowing to me. "Yes, this has happened, yes, this is where you are...now accept that and visualize where, what and who you want to be in the future".
You are in control of YOUR future. Take your power back and care for yourself first. I know, easier said than done, but it can be done. I'm going to prove it for myself. I hope you will too. Hugs...Netti
hockeymom5592
hockeymom5592
Please listen to all these wise women here. It's hard, but it's harder to stay. My heart used to pound every night when I went to bed when I was in the house with him, and it scared me to death. The first night I spend away it stopped. It will stop for you too. Go, go, there is a big beautiful world waiting for you. Look to the light, go go go.
shootingstar
shootingstar
Lisa, Girl, you dont deserve this kind of treatment. I know how hard and how difficult it is to leave the abusive situation. I was with Jace for almost 6 years when I decided to leave him. And the only reason I did leave him was because he almost killed me. Then what do I do? I met up with him not to long ago to see if he had changed. He didnt. But I am still in love with him. The hardest thing to do is take that first step into building a new life. What keeps us attached to the abusers in the love, lust, and the hope that they will change. The reality is ... they wont change. And that is so hard to accept. I am hurting seeing you like this. I understand how hard it is, and finding ways to cope with the pain. That alone is killing me ... and slowly. Its so important that you find ways to cope that are healthy. If its a drink here or there ... then great, as long as its not an every night ocassion. If its shopping, then great ... as long as you dont over spend. If its pampering yourself with a massage or pedicure or facial or ice cream or whatever ... then do it. Its so important to talk about what you are feeling and going through. I know I am one to talk about that subject, because I would rather just keep inside. I am telling you this ... Dont keep it bottled up inside. Its so much harder to deal with the pain and moving on from everything. Sweetie, Mom, I love you with all of my heart. I cant tell you what you should or shouldnt do ... all I can do is offer my support and my advice because I have been in a similar situation. Just know that you are NOT alone ... and you can come to me with anything. You need to decide what you want ... and now is the time you need to decide. But I will be here for you no matter what you decide to do. I love you so much ... and I will be praying for you
~ Rachel
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