Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I went to lunch with 2 of my co-workers who are men. We talked about my situation. They told me My ex is controlling me and is being very strategic about it. They said it is dangerous. I guess I am confused because he moved out. Well, he took his clothes, a sleeping bag and towels. Says he has an apartment. My cell and the apartment is in his name. He signed a one year lease and told me he was going to pay all of the bills for one year while I get on my feet since I got this job. He moved as soon as I got this job, he had told me I didn't need to work and if I didn't like it I could quit. I haven't made any contact with him since Nov 17. I got an email on Tuesday saying he changed the password to my cell account. Which to me was no big deal. I don't care if he goes in and looks at it. I was a little stunned as to why he changed my password, or as to why he was even there. He would say it was because he was going to make sure he paid it or something like that. My friends tell me he is just looking for reasons to have contact with me since i won't contact him. He also put money in my account which I don't need and I told him that 2 weeks ago not to. My co-workers are saying he has full control over my life and that he is being very strategic and has everything planned out. That I need to be careful and get my own place. My son and I went over my finances and he told me to suck it up and just stay where I am and I will be able to save a lot of money for the next year. I looked online to see if I can find any books that could help me figure this junk out. I saw The Abusive Relationship and the Abusive Emotional Relationship. Any books any of you could recommend would be great.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
i found this site really helpful for me
http://youarenotcrazy.com/
he doesn't need to change the password to pay the bills....he just has to know it and have the account in his name. which he must in order to change the password.
I would definitely have another bank account with my money in it that he does NOT have any access of knowledge of. Can you install an additional lock on the door? [and not give him the key]
also, if he has access to listen to your messages on your phone and delete any on a whim that could be a serious problem for you...
I dated someone who was systematically controlling, and made me feel like no one else would ever want me, and forbid me from inviting my friends/family over. I don't think he realized how sickly he was behaving, i gave him an ultimatum finally...therapy or goodbye. He said he was tired of this and needed a break and i said goodbye...for about 2 yrs he kept tracking me down online and creating alternate accounts on various websites and messengers so that he could talk to me on the pretense of being friends....no matter how many times i told him not to, and called it harassment. Thankfully he does not know where i live currently. But he is a computer wiz and i am forever deleting and changing accounts. He has gone as far as to delete music he doesn't like from my computer. He tries to hang on to me and stay in touch by any means necessary, and has always when getting in touch with me....continued to down me and try and keep his hold on me. Wether or not he's seeing someone else, or i'm seeing someone else.
I hope that you find a away to protect yourself and do what is best for you. what ever that may be. i wish i had some advise on that...but all i can do right now is share my story, and hope that it is somehow helpful to you. It's an awefully confusing/hard situation and i'm sorry that your in it =[ But your not alone! *hugz*
I moved out to help my wife and kids during the divorce, and it was unfortunately only seen as control. I recently found out she is involved with someone else and my feelings have changed somewhat, but I still care about their well being.
However, your situation may be different, your kids are grown and there's really no way to tell what his real motives are.
My advice is be suspicious, and cautious, but take this opportunity to get stronger and work on yourself. That way if it ends up being a trick, you can respond with self confidence.