last night i closed my eyes and i could feel myself back in time being pushed into the back seat of our car my head hitting my son's car seat with him in it and my husband screaming and punching me in the face as my son cried. i couldn't open my eyes i was crying like i am now just writing about it. i also remember franticly packing after what happened in the car when he dropped my son and me off at the apartment the urgent feeling of needing to run away. but that was almost 16 years ago...we've been living apart since aug...he found someone else to take care of him just before easter...i'm afraid to go to sleep this is my first time on this site and the first time i ever talked about that night so any advice and/or understanding is very welcome
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