Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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I'm abusing my boyfriend.

deleted_user
deleted_user
I fear that I am becoming or am an abusive person. Things in my relationship have really changed. It started with yelling. It escalated to me throwing things. I thought I had a handle on that. Things were good for a while but just the other day I snapped and I hit my boyfriend. I did it twice in the same day and totaled about 7 hit's. He say's he's not mad. He totld me he didn't want me to leave, but I felt Ineeded to put some space between us. I hhave never done anything like this before. I have never acted this way against anybody. I am shocked and ashamed and I want it to not happen again. I can't aford counsling and I fear that I need/want to take classes of some kind, but I can't afford that either. I understand that there is a cycle to being abusive. But, what if I don't want to be. Can I stop it? How? I feel horrible becasue well, I hit him, and then everyone around me just looks at it like "Well what did he do wrong" The point is I should not have hit him. I feel bad but it's a cycle. I am afraid it will happen again.
queenvalerie
queenvalerie
Call your local DV shelter or hotline. You need counseling and you need it now. Don't worry about the money. There are more than enough social services available to help you.

You need help and you need it NOW. I don't mean tomorrow, i mean today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Queen V gave you good advice to you.

I might also suggest that you get to your doctor and see what steps can be taken regarding anger mangament issue.

Your behavior needs to be broughtin check.
Loved1
Loved1
Good for you for taking responsibility. I went to DV counseling when I was in your position, and I found out I was also being abused. It's been a long road. What deters me now is learning how police can get involved. Could you imagine going to jail for getting physically abusive? It is a possibility. I know I need to learn to get away before it gets to that point. I've learned to be aware of anger, and when it happents, it's time for a TIME OUT, do something else for 20 minutes until things calm down. Once raising of voices or tone of anger enters, the communication is not effective. I've learned this in learning some anger management. There are free DV classes available. You are not alone!
psyc
psyc
you are taking the first step to getting haelp by taking responsibility for your actions but now you need to get some professional help.youre in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user
taking responsibility for your actions is wonderful, i'm proud of you for that. if he's willing to not give up on you maybe you two should see a couples counselor as well as you getting some therapy or taking some anger management courses....
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is a bit sexest to ask what he did to deserve it isnt it ,if he hit you then they would not ask that...yes it is great you are willing to look at your behavior ,I wonder if you grew up with violance? that would explain a lot if you did...there are a lot of ways to deal with bad behavior ,you could go to the libary and get some books to help if counsilling is out...also a lot of stuff on the net to read ..I would also look at the relationship ,it may be that you are bad for each other ,some times a couple just brings out the worse in each other...and it may be best to have time out to sort it all out.
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