I fear that I am becoming or am an abusive person. Things in my relationship have really changed. It started with yelling. It escalated to me throwing things. I thought I had a handle on that. Things were good for a while but just the other day I snapped and I hit my boyfriend. I did it twice in the same day and totaled about 7 hit's. He say's he's not mad. He totld me he didn't want me to leave, but I felt Ineeded to put some space between us. I hhave never done anything like this before. I have never acted this way against anybody. I am shocked and ashamed and I want it to not happen again. I can't aford counsling and I fear that I need/want to take classes of some kind, but I can't afford that either. I understand that there is a cycle to being abusive. But, what if I don't want to be. Can I stop it? How? I feel horrible becasue well, I hit him, and then everyone around me just looks at it like "Well what did he do wrong" The point is I should not have hit him. I feel bad but it's a cycle. I am afraid it will happen again.
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