Oh my god I feel so stupid. I let my husband back in after setting boudaries, 3 days and I feel like shit again. I was feeling so much better for awhile why do I do this to myself. I know he will never change he is incapable of understanding or caring about my feelings. More hurt more blame more shit (can I cuss?). I will just have to stick to my boundaries I will have to give up hope. He makes me out to be a villian in front of my kids. He rolled his eyes to my son when I wanted privacy to talk about an issue, it feels like he is trying to teach my son I am not important and to not take me seriously. When I called him out on it he said he doesn't think he did anything wrong. He already has him blaming me for our problems. I am so fed up with his crazy thinking I feel sick. It is like talking to brick wall, cannot compromise to save his life. Tells me I am villanizing him to avoid my own problems, then why am I in counseling why am I trying to sort out my feelings of guilt. Why does he not see anything he has done to me that hurts, he refuses to face it. Why am I here seeking answers looking for truth and understanding on both our parts. I have told my counselor I need to understand my part in this my share of blame and responsibility. I have carried the weight of all the blame and responsibilty from day one, it cannot be all me I know it is not all me he would never let me get away with not feeling guilt. Why can he get away with it always. He will never truely see me.
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