so whats up

im lisenting

i am abusive to my hubby especially when getting sick again what else is up

are you or your wife in any kind of counseling?

i'm so sorry your going through this. it's not easy to deal with abuse. What's going on??

I sometimes will yell at my husband when I have bottled things up so much that I just lose it. I feel terrible afterwards. I guess my reasoning for it, is that I know he is not going anywhere. I know that is not an excuse for doing it. I have found that if my husband and I sit down and talk when we get the chance (somethimes we have to make time) that it really helps with not bottling things up as well as showing our kids the importance of talking and not yelling. I still have my days that I just lose it, but they are getting farther apart the more I get comfortable saying what is on my mind. There is hope please dont give up. We are here to help and support you.

My wife has always told me, after we got married of course, that she always got what she wanted in life and that she is an adult and nobody tells her what to do. However, she feels like it is ok to tell me what to do. She always wanted a large family with lots of kids, I agreed to 3. We fostered for awhile and at times we were offered multiples infants, I told her I could not take on any more. She has never gotten over that. Also, when it comes to the household, she does very little to help, maybe a little laundry, and vacuum once in a great while, but that is the extent of it. When I ask her to help, she says to me "I don't care if it gets done." She has gone off on me at work once in front of co-workers with her banging on her desk, screaming obscenities at me about not getting a baby she wanted from foster care. There are many days I take so much Lorazepam and Sertraline to help me relax, and I sometimes go on 3-4 hours sleep a night. And as far as kids go, if I say something to them or discipline them, many times she goes against what I have said or done, and corrected ME in front of them. If I try to suggest counseling or something along that line, she flat out says "if I don't like it get the hell out!"

Has your wife been evaluated by a pdoc? Maybe she needs meds. If she is against it, try going on your own, maybe she will follow.