Today, my dad lost his keys (to the house, car, etc), and he started yelling at my family and calling us all sorts of things, he then starts to complain about my useless brother, who he doesn't call him his own son since "autism doesn't run in his family" even though he is his own son, so, my dad was choking him and threaten to take his life away because "he is mental, so there's no use for him," he then threatens to kick my mom and I out of the house because we are both "worthless." Ever since I was like 13/14, my dad has always hated the fact that I didn't go to work at that age because, he worked when he was 14. During that time for nearly half my life I was always sent to my grandma's house from the time school ends til the next day, there she always gave me too much food and I was taught to "respect our elders" and never refuse their offer so I had to eat it all. My uncle has always called me fat and a pig, which really made me always having to avoid encountering with him or else he just make fun of my appearance. My parents never let me out of the house because they don't want me to associate with the wrong people so they would always bribe me with toys just so I would stay home. My dad has always and is still made me feel terrible about myself. I'm overweight for my age and I try to go on a diet, but my dad always made it hard. Ever time I walk pass by he would say things like "youre slow" or "calling me a mex" ( I'm asian), "your causing an earthquake" and such. He intentionally brings home junk food even though it's bad for us and makes us eat it since "we shouldnt be wasting money" and when I go out to volunteer or somewhere my dad gets piss at me and said that I shouldn't go out and waste time on charity. When I stay home, he's like "why are you so lazy, you should go outside." my dad was also ashamed of me, when he talks to his relatives he always describe a daughter who is the total opposite of me. I consider myself the opposite if a stereotype, I was not good at math or science, and not smart either, I was just average. I am not allow to meet anyone in his side of the family because he doesn't want to show them a "big, worthless girl" who's future consist of "2 yrs of community college and working at mcdonalds." My dream is to do something creative like a designer, or something in business, but I feel like it'll never come true?
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