My previous partner was verbally and mentally abusive. Now, that I'm at peace, and able to think straight, in order to survive, I identified with his abusive behavior. He blamed the erectile dysfunction on me. I defended myself by telling him that his male problem was long in the picture before I came into his life. If I defended myself, he would say I'm an angry women. I defended myself by calling him an animal and telling him that I witnessed him mistreating his mother. I accepted him with his previous history of alcholism and substance abuse, and he was not able to be accepting of my slightest human flaw. I retaliated by telling him that he has a past and that I am accepting of him. Is it normal not to feel proud of oneself when one has identified with the aggressor as a way to survive? Advice, thoughts?
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