most abusers blame the victim ,my ex says he is such a nice guy women take advantage of him ,total rot....they are good.

Send him a bill back in the mail. Write a note and tell him, you're lawyer suggested he pay this bill, since you've decided to sue for emotional damages.

You will love this one. My husband was being treated for PTSD as I left him twice in the past. The reason being he was cheating and abusing me. He was so convincing to the counselor until he finally attacked me on the front yard and a protection order was filed to have him removed.

My lawyer laughs that any marriage counselor would try to see it as PTSD for him while he was emotionally, psychologically and physically abusing me. So yes I have been there and thank God that is all behind me now.

If you have any documentation showing abuse let the counselor know he needs counseling but if she is treating him for abuse he/she is only creating more of a monster.

Your stbx's actions are classic. That is what is so crazymaking about abusers - they blame their insanity on us - the ones they have victimized. It makes my brain ricochet off the sides of my head - if that makes any sense. This activity is merely a continuation of the abuse.

In an abuser's mind, NOTHING is his fault, everything is someone elses. So yes, tryin, I can believe it. I hope you have documentation of the abuse you have lived through, journals or something. Because that will be very helpful to you in court. I like Benjamuns idea!

It is very crazy making, but I have learned the best thing to do is act cool and collected when he tries this, try to see him as you would a stranger, in an objective way, this takes a lot of practice, it's o.k. to hit the bat hard when he doesn't see you, be emotional about it when he's gone, but act like he is the one with the uncontrolled emotions and treat him like he needs to be the one treated. This will drive him nuts.

This is typical of abusers to call a domestic hotline and say they are the ones being abused. My husband did it to me and still says that I am "abusive" too. Isn't it funny that they claim to be the victim AFTER you realize you are the victim and confront them with it? They are very good manipulators.

Sure, that's a manipulative tactic those s.o.b.s use - I was told I caused it or started it, they don't want to take responsibility

Oh yeah ... think they always try and turn it around xx

I just got to ask . .why are you with him?