
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

deleted_user
Greetings. I know I'm going to catch some grief on this board for what I did. I am 44 years old and I have never EVER hit a woman until last Saturday. Long story short, I went to kiss her and she bit my tongue enough where it bled and is swollen. She admitted she was a little mad at me at the time. Anyway, I pulled her out of the car and hit her in the side of the head several times and she may have a concussion. She did not press charges against me. I do feel horrible about what I did and she did say she didn't mean to hurt me and that she was drunk and didn't realize it at the time. What I did though was go way overboard on my reaction. She hates my guts now and wants a divorce. I know even one beating is one too much yet I also believe my past track record would give me the benefit of the doubt that this was an accidental one time thing. I do want to make this up to her and don't want to get divorced. Any comments appreciated and I am telling the truth about it being my first ever.
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So talk to her, tell her what the build up was, but make sure she knows that you're not saying that this was her fault, you're just trying to simply let her see into your world, and explain why you did it, how it was WAY over the line, and how if the two of you talk out what's bothering you from now on it won't happen again. Now, she doesn't have to live in fear, she should know not to bite someone because your mad at them (she wasn't talking to you either).... just talk, and if you're not willing to do that or don't know what to talk about, you have bigger problems, meaning you've gone this far, apparently married, and have become masters at being silent to one another, and that never works now does it?
If you love her and she loves you, after a three hour conversation you should both come to the conclusion that this was a really bad MIX UP, cause neither knew too much about why the other did etc.. So no divorce, and if she can't get there keep trying to for an amount of time equal to the amount that you love her.
So talk to her, tell her what the build up was, but make sure she knows that you're not saying that this was her fault, you're just trying to simply let her see into your world, and explain why you did it, how it was WAY over the line, and how if the two of you talk out what's bothering you from now on it won't happen again. Now, she doesn't have to live in fear, she should know not to bite someone because your mad at them (she wasn't talking to you either).... just talk, and if you're not willing to do that or don't know what to talk about, you have bigger problems, meaning you've gone this far, apparently married, and have become masters at being silent to one another, and that never works now does it?
If you love her and she loves you, after a three hour conversation you should both come to the conclusion that this was a really bad MIX UP, cause neither knew too much about why the other did etc.. So no divorce, and if she can't get there keep trying to for an amount of time equal to the amount that you love her.
So talk to her, tell her what the build up was, but make sure she knows that you're not saying that this was her fault, you're just trying to simply let her see into your world, and explain why you did it, how it was WAY over the line, and how if the two of you talk out what's bothering you from now on it won't happen again. Now, she doesn't have to live in fear, she should know not to bite someone because your mad at them (she wasn't talking to you either).... just talk, and if you're not willing to do that or don't know what to talk about, you have bigger problems, meaning you've gone this far, apparently married, and have become masters at being silent to one another, and that never works now does it?
If you love her and she loves you, after a three hour conversation you should both come to the conclusion that this was a really bad MIX UP, cause neither knew too much about why the other did etc.. So no divorce, and if she can't get there keep trying to for an amount of time equal to the amount that you love her.
Finally, what led up to this? She was mad at you and you didn't KNOW? Are you bad at reading body language? (I am.) Did she tell you and you didn't take her seriously?
The big problem here isn't that it happened that one time. The big problem, I believe, is that in order to get a message across to you, she was violent and you escalated the situation with your reaction.
A lot of couples enduring abuse trigger each other over and over. It won't stop until you figure out why you do it.
For your own good, you should stay away from her or you could end up under arrest. Separate and get counseling, together and separately.
Jesus teaches us to forgive and treat others as we would like to be treated. After my abuse experience, I no longer judge ANYone. I forgive my abuser and I am free in spirit.
I wish that for Geriberry.
God bless.