I felt so relieved to find this website today, but I am on 2-3 hours of sleep and a growing rage for this man I share my home with. I am pregnant, high risk, and I am so tired of losing everything I eat and stressing his next mood, next lie, next f*** me over strategy, I am ready to scream. I am overwhelmed with emotions right now thanks to these hormones and I am getting to a point that I know all too well. I am beginning to feel sick when he comes home, and I growing naseauous when I see him or smell him, everything he does is gutt wrenching to me. He is a 31 year old child, and my 8 year old is far more mature than he is capable of being. I have been through more in my life than I care to go into, but I have never known anyone who was incapable of telling the truth or sincerely caring for the one they "profess" to love. He is a taker. One that has to take and take until some break. I am not the breaking type anymore, but I am the type to blow and throw his butt out and call the cops. He has been back home since November 08 and has stolen my car, taken my credit cards, tried to wipe out my savings, and cheated, and constantly lied about everything. Little things, big things, how do you separate lies? they all hurt, don't they? I have given him alternatives, and yes I am really not in any position to be putting anyone in a corner. I am on strict bedrest, and yet, I can't be. He is a selfish sob that I am just so angry with. I feel like I am having to raise 2 children, and mine is much more wise. I am sleeping on the floor in my daughter's room so I don't have to smell him in the bed. I am checking his pockets to throw out the crap that he "doesn't" do... I hide spare keys all over my house, hide my safe at another house, have emergency funds there to get me to the hospital an hour and a half away for labor... i am in school again full time, and now I am going to have to rush to get a job asap after the baby and my surgeries, then I start cancer studies... I am praying and trying to keep some peace and sanity, but I am filling with resentment and rage, and I am afraid of when it is going to surface. I feel like I cannot make a sound decision regarding him at the moment because, he might actually give me a pay check to help with what he is supposed to do. I have been put in the position to handle everything. I have to control everything in the house, and yet he still manages to complain. What is so hard about going to work and hmm.. helping with a few dishes and some groceries? I do everything else... how can anyone possibly manage to screw up something so simple. I have now taken all keys, he is not even allowed a house key, a car key, mail box key, nothing. I do it all. and yet he stands here and honestly continues to make an ass out of himself.
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