I am 24 years old with two boys ages 3 and 6 one of which is biologicly the child of the abuser who I was with for a duration of 5 years of which i was physically abused sometimes it took a long time b4 he would hurt me and it would only ever happen when we fought and he was really mad. In dec of 07 he asslted me again and my dad had enough when i called him to tell him I was hurting and needed help my ex was then arrested and released we didnt speak for about 8 months and then i called him I couldn't stop thinking about him why did I still love him? He abused me in fornt of my kids and now they dont listen to me very well and take advantage of me. So we started talking again 8 months later and I didnt show up for court so his charges were dropped, since we have been back together trying to work on things which has now been a year he has only assulted me twice, the second time was 3 days ago, he choked me over 20 times spit in my face multiple times, threatened to kill me, held a knife to my face and many many other things and all in front of my 3 year old in the end he was arrested and released on conditons not to contact me. I have since been forced to leave my home by children's aid or they would have taken my boys, they say it is for my safety but I dont think he would just come back and kill me since the abuse only happened when we fought and when he was mad, and te first time around nothing happened I am confused I dont know what to think anymore I am hurting because I still feel like I love him and I cant understand why I dont have ANY support from anyone and I feel so lost and alone, we have spoke on the phone since but I have not seen him at all he says he loves me and is willing to go get help I dont know what to do and I am not really sure of what I am expecting from this but if anyone can maybe give me some kind of advice anything is better then nothing. I just want to stop crying and move on and forget about him but I can't please help me
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