I wish I could understand all of this. I don't think it is meant for me to understand. Today is the 12th day I have not initiated contact with him. I do okay when I am at home, but everyday when I get to work or on my work it is really hard. My whole day is full of pain. I am fine in the morning, and about 8 every morning this pain hits my heart. I get the urge to call, but I don't because I know he will just ignore my call or it will let him continue to think he has power over me. That is what this is all about right? Control, power, all of it, he never hit me, but he sure slammed every way possible emotionally, mentally, and verbally. I hate this feeling. I am really getting depressed today.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??