I wish I could understand all of this. I don't think it is meant for me to understand. Today is the 12th day I have not initiated contact with him. I do okay when I am at home, but everyday when I get to work or on my work it is really hard. My whole day is full of pain. I am fine in the morning, and about 8 every morning this pain hits my heart. I get the urge to call, but I don't because I know he will just ignore my call or it will let him continue to think he has power over me. That is what this is all about right? Control, power, all of it, he never hit me, but he sure slammed every way possible emotionally, mentally, and verbally. I hate this feeling. I am really getting depressed today.
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