I have to act normal, smile, work. I have done this for so long. I pray, I have went to some counselling and it helps, but I wish I could be done. I want to be happy. I want to take this pile of hurt and burn it. It just pops up. I talk to someone that I think is a friend about the abuse I suffured and it freaks them out and they start shying away. So, I don't share. My husband now is great, but I try not to dump on him too much. I don't want to run him off too. I see people having fun, why do I feel like I'm outside looking in so much of the time. I know I'm not "worthless" anymore and I survived and I'm not the doormat I was. I have come so far, but will I ever get there? And where is "there"? How do I heal from here?
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