First off I am totally new to this site ... I found this site one night due to I was having a bad night ... 2 months ago I walked away from a relationship .. my ex fiancee has a drinking problem and with that comes the anger and all the other stuff ... I left him a couple times before but I always went back to him, he gave me the apologies and im getting help but that only lasted for about a month .. but this time I cant go back .. I know now that our relationship was not good and it has destroyed me along the way ... but at this point I just want to get him out of my head and have the pain go away ... a part of me still loves him but I know in my heart that its over ... everybody tells me that I should be angry at him and hate him for all that he has done to me ... but I dont hate him and I am angry with him but I do not know how to get it out ... at this point I just want me back, the person that I was before he destroyed me ... the happy me ... I just dont know how to do that ... maybe a part of me is still hanging on to him due to I feel like I will never find anyone again, he always used to put doubts in my head and always said that we will always be together that I am stuck with him ... but at this point the kind of love that he gave me was not love ... love doesnt ocme with guilt, bruises, accusations or guilt ... love comes from the heart but with him I never really felt like I got that ... when I do try and move on he always comes back in my life .. he doesnt want me but he wants to make sure that I am miserable by picking fights with me and threatening me ... I just want it all to stop so I can move on with my life ... ok im done rambling ... I just dont know what to do and how to do this ...
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