Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I wanted to go somewhere where someone can understand how hard this is. I spent the last 3 years in a marriage that was deteriorating. While I believed my husband was helping me he was a classic abuser and a control freak. I tried so hard to make things work and tried to believe everything he was telling me.
I had left him twice but he still continued to get worse after promising me he would get better. It went from emotional and psychological abuse to physical abuse. There was constant cheating, lying and trying to make me believe I had mental issues. I do have anxiety but he kept telling me how much I needed him and would never make it on my own. That he was protecting me from the world.
I see now that it was so wrong to believe any of his words and I should have followed my gut instincts at the beginning. He is one of those guys who everyone thinks is so nice and helpful unfortunately behind closed doors he is another person. One who can hurt you in every way conceivable and not feel guilty about it.
I found out today that I was able to get a permanent protection order so he can not hurt me anymore. Everyone says I should be happy and free. I don't feel great, I feel torn apart. With our marriage I thought there would be friendship, understanding and love. I did not think it would be manipulative, deceptive and physically dangerous. Many can't understand how devastating it is to know that the person you fell in love with wanted to hurt you. That the person who you thought was your partner in life would treat you so bad and lie to you. That your whole world is turned upside down and you are afraid of the future.
If anyone can understand this I would really appreciate any help or advice you can offer in moving forward. I was a previously battered wife years ago and thought I would never have this happen again to me. Yet my second marriage 12 years later ended the same way. My counselor said there was something in him even though I never thought he had a mean bone in his body that attracted me and began the cycle of abuse again. It started slowly and I kept telling myself it couldn't happen again in the same lifetime. Now I have to learn to accept it for what it was and move on. My problem was during all of this. He was my confident. He was the one I talked to and went to now I am lost.
How can your partner now be the person that you can not let near you or he will hurt you more? He had me so dependent on him for everything and now I must depend on myself and feel good about it. It hurts and I feel so isolated as no one understands how this feels or why I am so upset.
I had left him twice but he still continued to get worse after promising me he would get better. It went from emotional and psychological abuse to physical abuse. There was constant cheating, lying and trying to make me believe I had mental issues. I do have anxiety but he kept telling me how much I needed him and would never make it on my own. That he was protecting me from the world.
I see now that it was so wrong to believe any of his words and I should have followed my gut instincts at the beginning. He is one of those guys who everyone thinks is so nice and helpful unfortunately behind closed doors he is another person. One who can hurt you in every way conceivable and not feel guilty about it.
I found out today that I was able to get a permanent protection order so he can not hurt me anymore. Everyone says I should be happy and free. I don't feel great, I feel torn apart. With our marriage I thought there would be friendship, understanding and love. I did not think it would be manipulative, deceptive and physically dangerous. Many can't understand how devastating it is to know that the person you fell in love with wanted to hurt you. That the person who you thought was your partner in life would treat you so bad and lie to you. That your whole world is turned upside down and you are afraid of the future.
If anyone can understand this I would really appreciate any help or advice you can offer in moving forward. I was a previously battered wife years ago and thought I would never have this happen again to me. Yet my second marriage 12 years later ended the same way. My counselor said there was something in him even though I never thought he had a mean bone in his body that attracted me and began the cycle of abuse again. It started slowly and I kept telling myself it couldn't happen again in the same lifetime. Now I have to learn to accept it for what it was and move on. My problem was during all of this. He was my confident. He was the one I talked to and went to now I am lost.
How can your partner now be the person that you can not let near you or he will hurt you more? He had me so dependent on him for everything and now I must depend on myself and feel good about it. It hurts and I feel so isolated as no one understands how this feels or why I am so upset.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
I understand where you are coming from. I have been married for 19 years, ironically today is my anniversary and he continues to get more verbally abusive. It is his second marriage, he was a widow before, and I should have seen his control issues. He only left the house to his adult son and will not update the will to include me or OUR son. I stayed home with our child when he was little and he continually tells me how I'm not that smart and I would never survive on my own. He continually belittles me as a mother and says I am messing up our child.
With them, it's all about control. When they belittle our hurt us, they themselves feel better about themselves.
I'm working now and although I don't have a fabulously paying job I do have an income and am continuing to look for better opportunities.
My teen son refuses to leave and I refuse to leave the house without my child. He wants to stay because of his friends and school system. I'm at wits end and want to leave as well. I admire your courage.
My husband is an alcoholic and has blackouts. He shows a different demeanor on the outside, church going educator etc. So no one can see through this.
He seemed to really care in the beginning, but as his drinking increases I realize I have an enemy and not a partner. He is a critic, not a confidant.
You will get stronger. You will feel better. I admire your courage and I just want you to know I understand and know how you feel.