i don't know how to explain it other than to say i was drowning for 7 years i was emotionally abused by him and felt i deserved it. i became someone i still hate to this day and i am sick of feeling like this. my kids and i have moved out of state but he still gets to me. even the restraining order doesn't help because i call him when he texts me thru other people or e-mails me. we were married 14 years and together for 18 years and i don't know why i put up with this. i hate being stupid and that is what i am. i am hurting my kids by letting them see me this way and he well he thinks he is the victim because my kids are smart enough to not want to talk to him which of course he blames on me. i can't do this anymore but i feel like he has this hold on me that i can't shake. my friends family and anyone who knows me says don't talk to him but i do and i hate myself for it. i can't afford therapy because he doesn't support us and when we were together he would barely let me work. i have a job now but no experience = no money i just make enough to get by. i just had the biggest fight with him today and he hung up on me so i keep calling him back but he won't answer and i don't want to call him anymore. please help me to stop because i can't do this alone.
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